Life is as tedious as a twice-told tale

A friend recently posted on facebook that she wishes FB had a "Shakespeare" setting (you know, like how you can change the language setting to Pirate).

This, of course, got my brain whirling. The banner across the top would read "All the world's a stage," the status box would ask "what news on the rialto?" The "like" button would be replaced with "marry." You would click the "what say you?" link, rather than "comment." Your friends would be your "Dramatis Personae" and you would be invited to find friends with the phrase "seek new friends and stranger companies." You would be informed if someone blocked you with a message that "_____, who, like a block, hath denied my access to thee." Chat will be renamed "idle talk."

What changes would YOU make to Shakespearean Facebook? And what other "languages" should Facebook offer? What would they look like?

Harry's Pants

Alejna has been posting about pants lately (check out her ghostly pants photo, and wish her a happy 4th Blogiversary!) and I have been rewatching Harry Potter movies in preparation for film 7, and got to thinking that the titles are pretty fun to PANTsify. So, Alejna, this is my blogiversary gift to you.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Pants (or, for you Canadians and Brits... Philosopher's Pants)
Voldemort is hiding behind Quirrel's Pants. In the movie, Quirrell is played by Jim Carrey, who has much experience making his butt talk.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Pants
A secret chamber filled with magical pants is unlocked at Hogwarts. When Ginny Weasley puts on a pair of the enchanted pants she finds herself falling under the fearsome power of Voldemort.

Harry Potter and the Pants of Azkaban
Harry learns that there is something worse than Dementors: the pants they make the prisoners of Azkaban wear. Truly scary.

Harry Potter and the Pants of Fire
The flaming pants help Harry win the Triwizard Tournament. Madame Pomfrey is able to heal his first degree burns, but expresses concerns about his future ability to procreate.

Harry Potter and the (Dis)Order of the Pants
Harry and a group of other wizards form a secret society. Their goal? To bring about the destruction of Voldemort by disorganizing their OCD closets.

Harry Potter and the Half-Pants Prince
Harry discovers a potions book full of secret potions and spells, the most dangerous of which casts a spell to half the wearer's pants. This proves to be nearly fatal in the winter at snowy Hogwarts.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Pants
Harry, Ron and Hermione set out to destroy the three pants of Death and restore peace to the wizarding world.

playing undercover?

A friend of mine and I were playing Scrabble on Facebook earlier, and we come up with silly names for each game (why do you have to NAME your games?). I named a new game "undercover" based on something we had been chatting about. Then, these were the first three words played:
Yes, we are easily amused. (And do you know how excited I was to look at my letters and see "coital?" Very.)

More Postcards from Disney

Dear Teacher,

This ride went upside down THREE TIMES! And I rode it twice.

2x3=6

I'm learning to multiply!

Love,
The May Queen


Dear Minnie,

Don't you know to turn the light off when you're not home? I just saved you lots on your electricity bill. But we should talk about that spectro magic parade...

Love,
The May Queen

Dear Mary Poppins,

Carousels are for sissies.

Wheee......
The May Queen

Dear Doctor,

Those drugs you gave me for my back are really helping with the pain, even if they do make me a bit loopy.

By the way, could you please call in a refill?

Thanks,
The Big Guy


Dear Mary Poppins,

OK, I take it back. Carousels are pretty cool, too.

And my mom says I have to apologize for using the word "sissies." Sorry.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,
The May Queen

Dear Prince John,

Enclosed please find a letter from my divorce attorney. It's over. I'm moving on.

Love,
Snow White

Dear Marriage Counselor,

All our problems with competition started on this seemingly harmless ride at Disney.

Please help.
Painted Maypole

p.s. Did I mention that I kicked his @ss?

Dear Rod Serling,

Scary, schmary. The May Queen LOVED the Tower of Terror.

(but HATED the Haunted Mansion. Twilight Zone THAT)

Dear Ariel and Cinderella,

Princesses may come and go, but cousins are forever.

Love,
MQ and K


Dear Mom and Dad,

Thanks for a great vacation
(too bad you're not in this picture, too!)

Love,
your family

Year End Self Evaluation: Monday Mission

Name: Painted Maypole
Department: around the Maypole
Title: Thespian Mommy
Date: 1/3/09

1. How well did you fulfill your duties as a Thespian Mommy?

I acted the role of Mommy quite well. I even sang and danced. It was Painted Maypole, the musical! starring Painted Maypole as the lovable, somewhat scattered but quite endearing mother of the May Queen, (the real star of the show). I kept my child alive and thriving (thus fulfilling my mommy duties) and performed in 7 different productions (thus more than fulfilling my thespian duties).

2. How well did you work with others?

Well, I snapped a bit at The May Queen, but that's all part of the mommy job description, right? I was nice to all my castmates, even the untalented buttheads. My husband and I never fought and we were the picture of marital harmony and parental agreement. In short, I was nearly perfect.

3. Did your work reflect the mission of the company?

Hmm... I'm not sure what our mission is, but up there at the top it says "come dance 'round the Maypole with me." So is our mission dancing? I did some of that. I have tried to live with joy and grace, and get back up and keep dancing, even after I've fallen. Some times it just takes a little longer to get back into the rhythm.

4. Did you grow (in skills, abilities, behaviors, knowledge, etc.)?

Physically, I shrank. Oh, skills, etc. Hmm... well, I have definitely expanded my experience and confidence in the singing and dancing department. I have stretched my comfort level and learned new things on stage. Growth in the Mommy arena is less measurable. One area I would like to grow this coming year is in providing more consistent expectations and discipline.

This post has been a Monday Mission. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write a performance review (inspired by Heather at In Te Domine's clever Year End Self Evaluation (hint: feel free to steal her format. She's given us permission!) My questions were adapted from the 4 questions at this site. And you don't have to do a self-evaluation. You could review the performance of something else. How did your toaster perform this year?

Please turn in your review to our supervisor by posting a link in the widget below:

And join us next Monday, when our mission is to write a post in the style of a postcard

Santa Baby: Redux

Buh-bum.. buh-bum...
Santa baby, just slip a new couch under the tree, for me
Been an awful good girl
Santa baby so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, a new convertible too, light blue,
Make sure the A/C works, please
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of when I'd clean not nap
Think of all the@ssholes that I didn't slap
If my list you can complete
I'll sit on your ample lap


Santa baby, I want some smokin' hot abs, no flab
Erase my many stretch marks
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa honey, one little thing I really need, the lead
In that new musical
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a million, or three,
A big girl needs security
Santa cutie, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Send me off to sea on a luxury ship
Put me on a plane for a European trip
Treat me good and I'll treat you bad
Santa, bad boy, I'll get out my whip

Santa baby, fulfill a small dream of mine, more time
8 hours a day would be fine
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry, tonight.

This post has been a Monday Mission. This week's mission is to write a post in the style of of a Holiday Tune. Write your own ditty and put a link in the widget below. Late entries are accepted, but beware, the Monday Mission Mistress DOES brandish a whip.

Join us next week when your mission is to write a post in the style of a Bumper Sticker and/or Vanity Plate.

We sing a song in praise of pants: Monday Mission

dedicated to Alejna

We sing a song in praise of pants
We lift our voices loud and strong
Oh won’t you come and join our dance?

Oh ring the bell and bang a gong
A rat-a-tat and ding ding dong
Oh won’t you come and join our dance?

In skinny jeans and a sarong
Or worn out sweats, shirt from Hong Kong
Oh won’t you come and join our dance?

At home or work or play pants belong
So many styles you can’t go wrong
We sing a song in praise of pants.

We wear them short; we wear them long
Go cowboy style or with a thong
Oh won’t you come and join our dance?

There’s room for all so come along
Hop up, take part in our joyful throng
We sing a song in praise of pants
Oh won’t you come and join our dance?

______________________

This week's mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write a post in the form a Villanelle. (A Villanelle is a type of poetry. Follow that link for an explanation of the "rules" of a villanelle. One famous example of a villanelle is Dylan Thomas' poem Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night) If you play along, please put a link to your post in the widget below:



And join us next week, when your mission is to write a post in the style of an Acrostic (you know, those poems they made you write in grade school where you wrote a word down the page, and then each line started with the letter... You could do a THANKSGIVING one, just like you did back in third grade this time of year, or you could come up with your own word)

Cafe Regret

Welcome to
Cafe Regret
Painted Maypole, owner

Dinner Menu

Not Your Nachos
We start of with a plate of crispy lost opportunities and heap it high with ground up ambitions and shredded roads not taken. The whole thing is topped off with "the one that got away"

What if Wantons
These crispy treats are full of fruitless wondering.

Anger Stew
This secret recipe has been simmering on the stove for days! Chock full of righteous indignation and self aggrandisement.

Eat Your Words Salad
Words of hatred, sarcastic comments and negative criticism, all atop a bed of lettuce that you made, and now you'll have to lie in.

Shoulda Said Pasta
Smart remarks, scathing blows and the perfect phrases comprise the sauce that swirls around the downward spiral noodles.

Too too chicken
A boneless, skinless chicken breast, broiled, then topped with our bland "too afraid I'll fail" sauce (a secret recipe!)

Not So Sweet Revenge
This nearly irresistible dessert tastes delicious at first, but leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth and a nasty case of heartburn.

TO DRINK:
House White Whine
Made from only the ripest regretful grapes. Grassy, with a dusty aftertaste.

House Red Whine
Made from the grapes of wrath, bottled up, aged to perfection, and just waiting to be uncorked.

Bitterness Brew
The perfect beer to cry in.

Blow Your Diet Coke
Full of sugar AND high fructose corn syrup. Guaranteed to be more calories than your meal.

*Don't see it on the menu? Ask your waitperson. Our fabulous chef may be able to whip up your personal regret into a hearty meal. We aim to please!

________________________

This post has been a Monday Mission. Your Mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write a post in the style of a menu. Play along and place your order (link to your post) in the widget below.




And join us next week, when our mission is to write a post in the style of a a Villanelle (this is a type of poetry, another suggested by De, and since we had such fun with her last poetry suggestions I thought we'd try it again! One famous example of a villanelle is Dylan Thomas' poem Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night)

Sugar high

I saw a commercial today that I was SURE was one of those ironic, fake ones. The woman was SO overly sincere that I kept waiting for the punchline. Plus, it was so ridiculous. She was urgently complaining about how difficult it will be to feed her family if the government puts an extra tax on SODA and FRUIT JUICE. But the punchline was... that there WAS no punchline. Apparently the government wants to put a tax on "sugar sweetened" drinks.

You know... a tax on, as this Diet Cherry Coke junkie calls it, "a can full of chemicals" and "cup o' corn syrup."

How will we EVER feed our families? Golly, we might actually have to resort to drinking... *GASP* ... water!!!!

They want to use the money to help run new health care programs.

It's outrageous! Taxing sugar sweetened drinks that contribute to our national obesity problem is like taxing cigarettes because they cause cancer!

Oh wait...

_________________

* maybe diet sodas will escape the tax, since they aren't ACTUALLY sweetened with sugar. Hmm.....

A Little Pants Music

Alejna tagged me for a little music in my pants... the idea is you're supposed to put your iPod or whatever on shuffle and add "in my pants" to the end of every song title. Well, all I've managed to load onto my iPhone iPod feature is Prince's greatest hits, and that's just TOO easy (Cream in my pants, Gett Off in my pants, Sexy MF in my pants... Prince seems to be made for this meme!). So I decided to do the meme for my New Orleans Music CD Mix (2009 updated version). Here's a little New Orleans in my pants...

Bap Bap in my pants - Bonerama
Shake Your Rugalator in my pants - Craig Klein
Marie Laveau in my pants - Craig Klein
Fever for the Bayou in my pants– Tab Benoit
Night Train in my pants– Tab Benoit
Crankin’ It Off in my pants– Billy Iuso
Ruff in Da Stuff in my pants– Billy Iuso
Iko, Iko in my pants- Amanda Shaw
Crescent City Snow in my pants - Susan Cowsill
Hell or High Water in my pants - Beth Patterson
Home in my pants - Eric Orlando (Barstool Logic)
Foundation Remains in my pants - Mark Adam Miller (Deadeye Dick)
New Orleans in my pants - Fred LeBlanc (Cowboy Mouth)
Foot of Canal Street in my pants– Paul Sanchez (Cowboy Mouth) featuring John Boutte
Treme Song in my pants– John Boutte
Tchefuncte/On That Day in my pants - New Orleans Night Crawlers


for more fun with pants (including Show Tunes Pants and Shakespearean Pants) click here

_______________________

I invite you (and your pants) to join me this Monday for our weekly Monday Mission. Your mission is to write a post in the form of a Tanga or a Nonnet (each is a specific type of poem, click on the word for a link to a description of the poetry). Mission suggested, again, by the fabulous de at An Indigo Virgo.

Hickory Dickory

I attended an audition today on Hickory Ave. To get there I drove on Dickory Ave and Dock St. I crossed Mouse St. Kid you not. Someone had fun naming those streets.

Showtunes in the key of PANTS: Volume 2

PANTS! a singular sensation, every little step you take
PANTS! covering your legs, every move that you make
One try and suddenly no other PANTS will do
You know you'll never be naked with you-know-who

One day wrapped in her comfort and you can forget the rest
For the PANTS are second best to none, son
Oooh! Sigh! Perfect through the inseam
Oooh! My! The answer to my dream! They're the PANTS!


What good is sitting alone in your PANTS?
Invite a friend to play.
Life is a pair of PANTS, old chum,
Come to my pair of PANTS


O....Oklahoma, where the wind comes and sweeps you out your PANTS...
And the wavin' breeze blows right past your knees
And you hope you're wearing clean underpants


You work real hard
And the pay's real low
And ev'ry hour
Goes oh, so slow
And at the end of the day
There's no where to go
But home to Avenue PANTS!
You live on Avenue PANTS!
Your friends don't dance.
You own twenty PANTS
And you live on Avenue PANTS!
You live on Avenue PANTS
You live on Avenue PANTS

Come on babe why don't you wear the PANTS
and all that jazz
We're gonna hide those knees
under some stylin' PANTS
and all that jazz
Zip them up I know the perfect pair
that hide all your flaws
and your long leg hair
You'll look lean and tall
They make your waist look small
And all that jazz!

Showtunes in the key of PANTS

Hello PANTS!
Well, Hello PANTS!
It's so nice to have you back where you belong
My @ss looks swell, PANTS,
I can tell, PANTS,
You still fit me, you're not stained
You're still goin' strong.



Some enchanted evening
You may see some PANTS,
you may see some PANTS
Across a crowded room
And somehow you know,
You know even then
That someday you'll wear them
Again and again.



At the end of the day you're a little bit stretched out
And that's all you can say for the life of the PANTS
You get spilled on, maybe torn
Then they throw you right into the corner
One more day lying about, what is it for?
One day closer to cut-offs.


Sing once again with me
Our strange duet
Two legs inside of me
look leaner yet
And though you turn in the mirror
to check your behind
The Phantom of the PANTS is there
Inside your mind



Who must know the way to fall across the hip,
and down the leg, and cross your bum?
Who has pockets so that you can cart your stuff,
Your license, credit cards and your phone?

The PANTS, the PANTS! Tradition!
The PANTS, the PANTS! Tradition!




Into the PANTS,
It's time to go,
I hate to leave,
I have to, though.
Into the PANTS-
It's time, and so
I must return to my house.

Into the PANTS
And from this bed
Though it's been fun,
Its must be said.
Into the PANTS,
and please don't tell
My very jealous spouse.



When you are PANTS,
You are PANTS all the way
From the first time you're worn
To your last dyin' day.

more of Willy's Pants

"...From ancient grudge break to new nudity, Where civil pants makes civil pants unclean."

Oh, we laughed. I thought that Rosie was going to have a spazattack.

Miss Wilson was yelling, "Girls, girls, stop this silliness. Saying pants all the time is not funny."

It is, though.

- Stop in the Name of Pants, by Louise Rennison
pp. 237-238

When Mad left me a comment with a pants quote from "Much Ado about PANTS," well, I just couldn't pass up the chance to look at an incomplete list of the Bard's Pantsy Titles:

• All's Well That PANTS Well
• Antony and CleoPANTSra
• As You Like PANTS
• Comedy of PANTS
• HamPANTS
• Henry IV, PANTS I
• Henry IV, PANTS II
• King PANTS (which I will be going to see Wednesday evening, FYI)
• Love's PANTS's Lost
• MacPANTS
• Measure for PANTS
• Merchant of PANTS
• Merry PANTS of Windsor
• A Midsummer PANTS's Dream (Which, of course, was a rewrite of his earlier work, A Midsummer Night's PANTS)
• Much Ado about PANTS
• Romeo and PANTS
• The Taming of the PANTS
• PANTS of Athens
• Titus PANTUS
• Twelfth PANTS
• Two PANTS of Verona
• Winter's PANTS

President Shakespeare?

from Shakespeare's Den. My two kitties... maybe they'll run again in 2016 (you know, when Obama's done with his second term)

Shakespeare's Pants

I'm reading a little book called Stop in the Name of Pants and there's a Romeo and Juliet Pants reference, and so, in honor of everyone's favorite Pants Superstar, Alejna, I give you the sort of thing that keeps me awake at night:

Shakespeare's Pants

What PANTS through yonder window breaks?
-Romeo and Juliet

How low am I, thou painted maypole? speak;
How low am I? I am not yet so low
But that my nails can reach unto thine PANTS.
-A Midsummer Night's Dream

To PANTS or not to PANTS, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The PANTS and KNICKERS of outrageous fortune,
Or to take LEGS against a sea of troubles,
-Hamlet

Out, damned PANTS! out, I say
-MacBeth

Once more unto the PANTS, dear friends, once more
-Henry V

All the world is PANTS
-As You Like It

If PANTS be the food of love, WEAR on
-Twelfth Night

If you PANTS us do we not BLUSH?
-Merchant of Venice

Lord, what PANTS these mortals be!
-A Midsummer Night's Dream

Two PANTS both alike in dignity
-Romeo and Juliet

Ay, now am I in PANTS; the more fool I
-As You Like It

SOME PANTS, SOME PANTS, my kingdom for SOME PANTS
-Richard III

Et tu, PANTS?
-Julius Caesar

If we PANTS have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended
-A Midsummer Night's Dream

What are your favorite Shakespearean Pants?

(by the way, in England pants are not the things that cover your legs, but rather, your underwear)

A Midspring Blog's Dream

I was having a hard time coming up with something to cast. I haven't been reading much since I spend just about every free reading moment with my current script. I was thinking I was going to have to pass on this Monday Mission. Then, this morning, in the car... inspiration. What else should Painted Maypole cast but A Midsummer Night's Dream??? Perfect. I think we'll go for an all female version (I saw an all female production of 12th Night once, and it was awesome! Besides, it used to be all men back in Shakespeare's day, so why not turn it on its head a bit? Yippee!) I haven't had as much time to mull this over as I'd like, but these are my initial thoughts:

Character descriptions stolen from sparknotes.com. My casting choices follow the descriptions.

Puck - Also known as Robin Goodfellow, Puck is Oberon’s jester, a mischievous fairy who delights in playing pranks on mortals. Though A Midsummer Night’s Dream divides its action between several groups of characters, Puck is the closest thing the play has to a protagonist. His enchanting, mischievous spirit pervades the atmosphere, and his antics are responsible for many of the complications that propel the other main plots: he mistakes the young Athenians, applying the love potion to Lysander instead of Demetrius, thereby causing chaos within the group of young lovers; he also transforms Bottom’s head into that of an ass. Alejna from Collecting Tokens. Her playful nature and love of language should make this a perfect fit. Plus, surely we can find some business for her involving pants.

Oberon - The king of the fairies, Oberon is initially at odds with his wife, Titania, because she refuses to relinquish control of a young Indian prince whom he wants for a knight. Oberon’s desire for revenge on Titania leads him to send Puck to obtain the love-potion flower that creates so much of the play’s confusion and farce. Jen from One Plus Two.

Titania - The beautiful queen of the fairies, Titania resists the attempts of her husband, Oberon, to make a knight of the young Indian prince that she has been given. Titania’s brief, potion-induced love for Nick Bottom, whose head Puck has transformed into that of an ass, yields the play’s foremost example of the contrast motif. Mad, from Under the Mad Hat. Years ago Mad and Jen married via the internet and the Just Posts were born. I think having the two of them united, and sparring, on stage would be worth the price of admission.

Lysander - A young man of Athens, in love with Hermia. Lysander’s relationship with Hermia invokes the theme of love’s difficulty: he cannot marry her openly because Egeus, her father, wishes her to wed Demetrius; when Lysander and Hermia run away into the forest, Lysander becomes the victim of misapplied magic and wakes up in love with Helena. No Mother Earth. She wouldn't be afraid to be fawning.

Demetrius - A young man of Athens, initially in love with Hermia and ultimately in love with Helena. Demetrius’s obstinate pursuit of Hermia throws love out of balance among the quartet of Athenian youths and precludes a symmetrical two-couple arrangement. Emily R from Wheels on the Bus. Because she recently offered to come and kiss me.

Hermia - Egeus’s daughter, a young woman of Athens. Hermia is in love with Lysander and is a childhood friend of Helena. As a result of the fairies’ mischief with Oberon’s love potion, both Lysander and Demetrius suddenly fall in love with Helena. Self-conscious about her short stature, Hermia suspects that Helena has wooed the men with her height. By morning, however, Puck has sorted matters out with the love potion, and Lysander’s love for Hermia is restored. Niobe from Dead Baby Jokes. Because she once confessed to me that, being small and fair, she has always identified more with Hermia.

Helena - A young woman of Athens, in love with Demetrius. Demetrius and Helena were once betrothed, but when Demetrius met Helena’s friend Hermia, he fell in love with her and abandoned Helena. Lacking confidence in her looks, Helena thinks that Demetrius and Lysander are mocking her when the fairies’ mischief causes them to fall in love with her. Um... ME, of course.

Egeus - Hermia’s father, who brings a complaint against his daughter to Theseus: Egeus has given Demetrius permission to marry Hermia, but Hermia, in love with Lysander, refuses to marry Demetrius. Egeus’s severe insistence that Hermia either respect his wishes or be held accountable to Athenian law places him squarely outside the whimsical dream realm of the forest. Erin from Woman in a Window. To make her play against type.

Theseus - The heroic duke of Athens, engaged to Hippolyta. Theseus represents power and order throughout the play. He appears only at the beginning and end of the story, removed from the dreamlike events of the forest. Sarah from Slouching Past 40. I think she'd look great on Flutter's arm, and seems quite powerful to me.

Hippolyta - The legendary queen of the Amazons, engaged to Theseus. Like Theseus, she symbolizes order. Flutter. Doesn't Flutter strike you as an Amazon Queen? I would love to see her strutting around all powerful.

Nick Bottom - The overconfident weaver chosen to play Pyramus in the craftsmen’s play for Theseus’s marriage celebration. Bottom is full of advice and self-confidence but frequently makes silly mistakes and misuses language. His simultaneous nonchalance about the beautiful Titania’s sudden love for him and unawareness of the fact that Puck has transformed his head into that of an ass mark the pinnacle of his foolish arrogance. RimaRama. I have no doubt she would be willing to be just a silly as the part requires.

Peter Quince - A carpenter and the nominal leader of the craftsmen’s attempt to put on a play for Theseus’s marriage celebration. Quince is often shoved aside by the abundantly confident Bottom. During the craftsmen’s play, Quince plays the Prologue. Bon from Crib Chronicles. Bon is such a beautiful writer that frankly I want to hear her stumble and bumble her way through the prologue. He he. Bloggers revenge.

Francis Flute - The bellows-mender chosen to play Thisbe in the craftsmen’s play for Theseus’s marriage celebration. Forced to play a young girl in love, the bearded craftsman determines to speak his lines in a high, squeaky voice. Mary G from Them's My Sentiments. Since we can't do the bearded man thing, I think it would be great comedy to see the lovely older Mary G play at the young girl.

Robin Starveling - The tailor chosen to play Thisbe’s mother in the craftsmen’s play for Theseus’s marriage celebration. He ends up playing the part of Moonshine. Kaye from The Road Goes Ever On. Did you see the wedding dress she sewed? Tailor, indeed!

Tom Snout - The tinker chosen to play Pyramus’s father in the craftsmen’s play for Theseus’s marriage celebration. He ends up playing the part of Wall, dividing the two lovers. J from In the Gutterr. Gutter... wall... um.... there's a connection there, I'm sure.

Snug - The joiner chosen to play the lion in the craftsmen’s play for Theseus’s marriage celebration. Snug worries that his roaring will frighten the ladies in the audience. Heather from I Can Fly, Just Not Up. Let's get her away from making costumes and onto the stage.

Philostrate - Theseus’s Master of the Revels, responsible for organizing the entertainment for the duke’s marriage celebration. Beck from Frog and Toad are Friends. Because we all know Beck is a great organizer of entertainment!

Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Mote, and Mustardseed - The fairies ordered by Titania to attend to Bottom after she falls in love with him. (in no particular order...) JCK from Motherscribe would be a lovely fairy in fishnets (and have you checked out her series on Feminism? Very interesting.). Kat from Seeking Sanity. Because I am totally tickled by the idea of a pregnant fairy. I think we would make Amelia from Crumbs a singing fairly (maybe she'll bring her daughter along, too. They can sing duets!) Magpie from Magpie Musing. Because we need a fairy with blue hair.

Whew!

Participate in Monday Missions by casting your own project (play, movie, poem, short story, children's book, whatever!) with your own choices (bloggers, your family, famous actors...) and post a link in the widget below. This fun idea comes to you courtesy of No Mother Earth, who cast bloggers in a book she was reading.



Join us for our Future Monday Missions!

5/11- song titles. See how many song titles you can jam into one blog post. In high school my best friend and I used to write stories this way all the time. It passed the time in our boring classes. I had the idea when I was on a streak of titling all my blog posts with song lyrics. I have to say, I am rubbing my hands in glee over this one.

5/18- a discussion between characters/bloggers/historical figures. Mad did this brilliantly, and I thought it would be fun to imagine a conversation between characters from different sources.

5/25- a "What I did on my summer vacation" essay. Yes, before summer vacation.

Postcards From Disney

Dear Friends,

I'm at Disney World and you're not.

Bwa ha ha ha ha

Love,

The May Queen

Dear Beast,

I thought you had let me out of captivity?

Signing autographs and taking pictures all day is worse than the dungeon.

Love,

Belle

Dear Minnie,

You really ought to lock up your house while you're gone.

Good luck fixing this quilt.

Love,

The May Queen

Dear Shakespeare,

We've been cheating on you with another kitty.

This one takes up too much room in the bed, though.

We'll be home soon!

Love,

your humans

Dear Prince Charming,

I've cloned myself.

How will you ever tell which one is your true love?

Love,

Cinderella

Dear Big Guy,

Better watch out, this dude is moving in on your turf.

Love, Painted MaypoleDear Mom and Dad,

Send bail. Quick.

Love,

The May Queen

Dear Daddy,

That spell you cast has worn off.

Could you get rid of the fin again?

Thanks!

Love,

Ariel

Dear Internets,

I missed you.

Hogs and Kisses,

Painted Maypole

Introducing Mr Chicken...

Rubber Chicken

Rubber Chicken was discovered by talent agent Painted Maypole at a Mardi Gras parade. Mr. Chicken was noted for his flexibility in a variety of roles, as well as his unusual gift of laying an egg, and was immediately cast in the lead role in the suspense/comedy I'm Going to Steal your Applesauce, directed by the May Queen's grandfather. Applesauce was such a hit around the Maypole that Mr. Chicken is currently filming its sequel mmm... cookies... Both films are being turned into lunchbox books, premiering this week at a lunch table near you.

Production photos courtesy of Maypole Productions

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This post has been a Monday Mission. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write a post in the style of a brief biography (like a bio in a theatrical program or the back of a novel...) If you write a bio, please post a link in the widget below:

Next Monday's mission is to write a post in the style of a sign (street sign, business sign, airport sign... you decide...)