Meet Bianca

Our new kitty arrived on Sunday Dec 11. We had kicked around a few names before she arrived, and had mostly settled on Bianca (a character from The Taming of the Shrew. We liked the name, and naming a black cat "white"). We we met her, the name worked, and Bianca she is.She is playful. And cuddly. She tolerates being toted everywhere by the May Queen. She settles down on my husband's lap to watch football. She's a champion at purring. Even the other cats have stopped hissing at her. Marlowe seems to be enjoying having a playmate.Everyone is quite smitten with this kitten.How could you not be?

Could I have a change of luck, please?

So I wrote that book (OK, I wrote that table of contents) on how to have a stress-filled life, but really, I don't need to do any of that. Because stress just happens to me.

The cat is sick and has peed on the couch and the chair. I was told this is impossible to clean, but I'm trying to do it anyways, because that's a lot of money to just throw away (we did throw away the mattress, it's a sleeper sofa...)

My Mother in Law is currently in the hospital after her second stroke. Today she is having a pacemaker put in. My husband may need to go and stay with her and my father in law for a good chunk of January. While I'm in tech week.

Our desktop's hard drive died, and we have to get a new one. We have likely lost all of our documents. And photos. LOTS AND LOTS of photos.

Our furnace wasn't working. I tried to light the pilot light myself, but that wasn't the problem. So I paid someone to come out and fix it.

We've bought/will be buying all new tires for 2 cars.

Other life changing stressful things I can't write about online.

And did you know that Christmas is in 16 days?

The Bard: Daily Gratitude 29

I'm grateful for the fabulous words of Shakespeare, which I got to perform on a stage today. With any luck (and much ado) I'll soon be doing more of that.

(At least there's one Shakespeare I'm happy with. Shakespeare the cat is still in the proverbial doghouse... see previous post)

a girl, her kitten, and a rainbow

does it get any sweeter than that?

Absolut Fierce - the story

When my husband and I married he had 5 cats. Well, technically, BEFORE we got married he had 5 cats. Once we were married WE had 5 cats.

They were great cats, each with their own personalities.

Zachary was a fat, black cat. As long as he had enough food he was happy. If you entered the room he was in he would start purring in anticipation of being petted. If a warm breeze came by he would purr. He slept with all the other kitties (other cats deferred to the strict feline hierarchy in our home) and assumed everyone wanted to pet him. He would be ambling through the house and decide to lie down. Rather than lowering his frame to the ground he would just fall over onto his side (and usually start purring... you were planning on petting him, right?) Zach was the happiest cat I've ever known.

In 1997 we saw a movie called Fierce Creatures. The movie features John Cleese, Kevin Kline and Jamie Lee Curtis (yes, that fabulous trio from A Fish Called Wanda) and is about the staff of a zoo struggling to deal with the changing policies of the zoo directors. One of the things that the zoo directors do is accept corporate sponsorships, and there's a funny bit showing animals with Absolut signs, including a tiger with an "Absolut Fierce" banner.

So it was that I gifted my husband with this framed photo of Zachary.
It was nearly impossible to get a picture. He actually didn't mind having the sign tied to him, but when I would back up to snap the shot he would walk towards me, wanting to be petted. Purring, of course. Fierce.


(Last week I titled a post Absolut Fierce and asked what movie it was from. No one got it. Now you know.)

Absolut Fierce: Monday Mission

This post has been a Monday Mission. Your mission is to write a post in the form of a Tanga or a Nonnet (each is a specific type of poem, click on the word for a link to a description of the poetry). Mission suggested, again, by the fabulous de at An Indigo Virgo.

My entry is a Tanga - a five line poem (in this case a Tanka, 5-7-5-7-7) superimposed on an image. I am, admittedly, totally entranced with the idea of a nonnet, and may yet come back and write one of those. Someone humor me and get the ball rolling!

If you play along please put a link to your mission post in the widget below.




And join us next week, when your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write a post in the form of an outgoing voicemail message.

Does anyone get the "Absolut Fierce" reference in my post title? (hint: not just the vodka... it's from a movie)

President Shakespeare?

from Shakespeare's Den. My two kitties... maybe they'll run again in 2016 (you know, when Obama's done with his second term)

It's just been THAT kind of a day

I spent my morning executing my duties as director of a nearly 200 kid Vacation Bible School. It wasn't nearly as harried as yesterday, and last night I finally got more than 4 hours of sleep (as I did the previous 2 nights, due to VBS prep), so it wasn't relaxing or anything, but it was OK.

I came home and after a quick lunch we captured the cat that had taken up residence in our backyard. This usurper was wrecking havoc on the tenuous peace in my home... as Shakespeare has still not adjusted to the new kitten, Marlowe. Shakespeare felt like he had to protect his backyard from this other cat. Through the window. It resulted in a lot of anguished growling, hissing, and pacing. So after about 10 attempts the May Queen and I finally managed to get the yard cat into the cardboard carrier that Marlowe came home in a mere 10 days ago. We loaded into the car. BEFORE WE EVEN TURNED OFF OUR STREET (so we're talking two blocks) the cat had clawed/chewed her way through the carrier and was roaming the car. Fun.

Then, on the way to the shelter we got a FLAT TIRE. Fortunately a very, very nice man saw me on the side of the road and came off his front porch and completely changed my tire for me, and even put more air in my spare, which was pretty deflated itself.

We surrendered the kitty.

Then the May Queen and I went to have our hair cut.

The lady cutting MQ's hair said to me "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but...."

LICE.

Fortunately we caught it early, we could only see 2 eggs in her light blond hair, so killing them shouldn't be too hard. Even still...

Off to the store for the special shampoo, etc, and now my evening has been full of laundry, shampooing, fine tooth combing, another shampooing, laundry, spraying of upholstery, more laundry, the bundling up of treasured stuffed animals and putting away for 3 weeks to ensure the lice DIE, sanitizing hair brushes, more laundry...

And the realization that tomorrow at VBS I have to inform the parents of nearly 200 kids that we've had a lice problem.

In addition, it turns out that one of my cats (I'm guessing the new kitten, good thing he's cute) has been running around the house peeing on any plastic bag he could find. Which, it turns out, was quite a lot, seeing as how I've been purchasing tons of VBS supplies, plus using old plastic bags to transport stuff to and fro.

Is it any wonder I'm looking forward to a glass of wine?

(and is it just me or do you find the fine tooth comb USELESS?? the two eggs I could see I pulled out with my fingers after several failed attempts with the comb)

a great reckoning in a little room

Because I love a good theme, we've settled on Marlowe for the name for the new kitten (see previous post below for all the cute pictures!) We didn't even have to have a tiered voting system. Rather, I just had to win over the May Queen, and once I had her on my side all was won!

Suggested first by Emily of Wheels on the Bus, the moment I saw the name I knew it was THE ONE. Several other people came up with it, too.

Christopher Marlowe was a playwright at the same time as William Shakespeare, and died in a barroom fight. There are conspiracy theorists who believe he faked his death and then went on to write as William Shakespeare (I am not one of them). In the movie Shakespeare in Love he is played by Rupert Everett.

So now we have two kitties: Shakespeare and Marlowe.

_______________
Join my for our last Monday Mission before our summer Hiatus - write a post in the style of a "what I did on summer vacation" essay.

Do you remember when I said that I didn't want a cat?

Last night around 5pm I mentioned to The Big Guy that I would be willing to talk about when would be a good time to get a new kitten (both he and The May Queen have been lobbying.)
Look what came home about noon today.I think he wanted to make sure I didn't have any time to change my mind.
Shakespeare, our alpha cat in residence, was unaware that his world was about to change. Let me just say that he is unamused. Growling and hissing have been his reaction. As expected.
We haven't named the new kitty yet. If it's anything like last time, this may take several days and an advanced voting system.Any suggestions? (he's a boy)

Long lost kitty?

Last night a calico cat sat on my front porch, looking inquisitively in at me. For a brief moment I honestly wondered if the cat knew our cat Shakespeare, that perhaps they had been friends before Shakespeare came to live with us and this kitty had just managed to track Shakespeare down.

Perhaps I've watched too many Disney movies.
-------

Next Monday's mission is to write a post in the style of a sign (street sign, business sign, airport sign... you decide...)

Goodies Galore - and The May Queen's debut as a photographer

There was about a 2 week window last month where it seemed I was winning all sorts of drawings and such at blogs across the nation, and I've gotten some great stuff! As I said last week, I've been remiss in posting about it in my NOT AT ALL LAZY summer blur. But I am trying to put that right, because really, you gotta check out the loot. How did I get so lucky? And why didn't I buy a lottery ticket while the luck was hot?



In all honestly, pretty much everything I won was for The May Queen, so maybe SHE should have bought the lottery ticket, although I don't believe that's legal. I could have let her pick the numbers, though, like my grandparents always did with us.

This week the May Queen has been enjoying taking pictures with her brand new Discovery Toys Slide and Shoot Digital Camera, won in a mother's day drawing from the fabulous Susie J.

She instructed my husband to tickle me so she could take a picture. My husband more than willingly obliged.
She thought it would be fun to get a picture of me first thing in the morning. Ack. She took pictures of her toy creations.

However, the cat remains her most constant and reluctant muse. Yesterday I heard her insisting "Shakespeare! Look at the camera!!!"



There's no flash on the camera, and the resolution isn't good, but there's no question that she's having a ball with it. She loves that she can wear it around her neck and take pictures all she wants. We admittedly haven't played with the software that came with it... maybe when we come back from vacation. Speaking of vacation, this will be great for her to have on vacation, and she's really looking forward to taking her own pictures. Oh, and it's pink. That was a high point. Here she is checking out her latest shot.
(FYI - the price listed on the box is 39.95, which I think is steep for a camera with such low quality. You can get cameras with much higher pixels and a flash and a zoom, etc for not much more than that, but it is really nice to have an easy to use camera for her to start off on, and maybe once she gets used to this and gets better, I'll pass my old camera on to her. Plus, it does come with software, which, as I said, we haven't played with yet.)


This adorable barrette was won from a drawing at Jen's review site. As promised it was both adorable AND stayed in The May Queen's super slippery fine hair. And it sparkles. (don't mind the green hair. That's from swimming every day at camp. But here's a tip: cover the hair in tomato sauce and let sit for 10-30 minutes, wash hair and... NO MORE GREEN! How did people learn these things before google, I ask you?) You can't see the barrette in this picture very well, but she is wearing it. I couldn't pass up a chance to show her off with her daddy. And yes, the family resemblance is scary. She has my pointy chin, but otherwise looks nothing like me.

And finally, on our road trip I hope to read this book to The May Queen. Magpie had an extra copy, and passed it on to us. When I opened the package the picture on the cover instantly brought back memories of reading it as a child. I hope reading it on our road trip creates some fond memories for the May Queen. It is all ready to go with a bookmark I made just waiting to hold our place.

Thank you all very much! During a very busy and hectic time it was great fun to open the mailbox and find your goodies there!

MLS listing #4231564

Modest one room fun house available for discerning felines. New construction, made largely of recycled materials. Painted by local artisans, this home is the perfect pad for artistic cats who like to play. Ample windows, including skylights, let in natural light. Appx. 2 square feet. This pad is mobile. Available immediately.















This house listing is brought to you courtesy of Monday Missions. Write your own post in the style of a house listing and leave a link. (bonus points to anyone who can figure out the significance of the MLS number...which, erm, i had typed incorrectly. it has now been fixed - hint:i had to change the first number)

Chantal is offering some prime real estate
Helen has posted a castle
Melissa is hosting an Open House
Alejna wants to help you get past the real estate jargon
De is listing her work in progress
Mr. Linky still doesn't seem to be working with my new blog design, so leave your link in my comments. I'll try to get them into the post as I'm able, but Mondays I'm busy singing and dancing with small children at the preschool, so I may not be too timely. I'll try.

May Monday Missions - write a post in the style of:
5/5: a soap opera update, starting with the words "When we last left off..." (idea thanks to No Mother Earth)
5/12: a personality test (idea thanks to Emily, inspired by Alpha Dogma)
5/19: a list of rules
5/26: a warning label

What's that sound?

(we're back from our vacation and the memorial services. I have yet to sort pictures. I'm not up for rehashing the memorial services except to say that my husband preached (not once, but twice), per his brother's request, and he did so beautifully and I could not be prouder of him. so, to move out of the gloom I will regale you with a story that happened just before we left...)

It was the Saturday before our vacation. That afternoon we would be heading to the Endymion Parade. But I was having a lazy morning. It was about 10 am. I was eating breakfast. I heard a sound.

It sounded as if something had fallen down our chimney and landed on the fireplace. I heard swish and then a thud on metal, as if something had hit the flue. I got up, walked into the living room, and stood still for a few moments. I heard nothing else. I went back to eating.

A little bit later, I noticed that our attic door was open. This usually means that the cat has pushed his way into the attic. I peeked around for him, and called his name. I heard nothing. I shut the attic back up.

When my husband got out of the shower, I told him about the attic, warning him that the cat may still be in there, but that I didn't think so. Then I told him about The Sound in the fireplace.

"Are these two things related?" He asked.

"Well, that did occur to me, but I don't think so." I replied. "I mean, how could the cat have gotten into the chimney?"

We went about our day. Shortly, a little boy from the neighborhood came over to play. He had not met our cat before, and The May Queen wanted to show him off. They began searching the house, calling "Shakespeare, Shakespeare." The cat did not come out, but this is not unusual. He often hides from The May Queen, and who can blame him, really?

But after about 5 minutes of this, we began to get concerned. We all started looking. At one point I was standing in the living room, and I heard this faint sound. A faint meowing sound. That seemed to be coming from the chimney.

I was baffled. How did the cat get in the chimney? I opened the flue and shone a flashlight up the pipe, but saw nothing. But the pipe took a turn, and perhaps the cat was stuck above the turn?

I went up in to the attic to see how the cat had gotten into the chimney. We thought perhaps he had found a way onto the roof? I knew where the chimney ran up between my bathroom wall and closet, because my dad mentioned it once when we was in the attic putting a plug in. So I headed back there with a trouble light. And I found trouble.

The cat had NOT gotten into the chimney, but had walked out across some pink insulation and fallen into the wall surrounding the chimney. He had enough room to move around and could jump from the "floor" to on top of the tin surround of the fireplace. That was the thud on metal that I had heard.

He looked plaintively up at me and meowed.

We ended up cutting a hole in the garage wall to get the cat out. He was covered in insulation, but this came off much more easily than soot.

Do you think the cat will be smart enough to stay out of the attic now? I doubt it.

Meow.

Hello there. It's me. The cat. I've been very busy around the maypole, checking out the new digs. I realized the woman was the one most wary of my existence in this house, and I set to work right away winning her over. If everyone is sitting down, it's HER lap I crawl in to. I purr and tuck my nose under her arm. I've managed to not bother her allergies at all, which is a feat in and of itself. She thinks it's adorable when I sleep under the Christmas Tree, so I've been sure to do that a lot.
I have had to hide out a bit, what with the 3 extra children who were visiting wanting to pick me up and carry me around all the time. But I resisted the urge to growl or bite them when they did, and even showed great restraint when they tried to push me around in the doll stroller. Fortunately the bigger people usually come to my rescue fairly quickly.

I use the litter box (except for one minor incident my first day which I refuse to discuss, except to say that the original location of my litter box was not ideal, but the people have moved it and it's all better now). I eat the food they give me. I stay off the table and the counters. Mostly.

I do have to keep them on their toes, though. I snuck outside today, but trust me, I have no intention of running away. I know I have it good here. I just wanted to see what was behind that door. But I came back and meowed outside the door, and they were baffled to find me out there. Had no idea I was missing, or how I got out. And no, I won't tell you my secret. He he. Like I said, it's good to keep them on their toes.

They have finally come up with a name for me. The naming was a rather arduous process, and the two older people were writing down quite a list of possibilities. I am glad that they rejected Gwain. And Meow Meow, which the child suggested. That would have been humiliating. After a rather scientific process which involved a point system and several tiers of voting they have decided to name me Shakespeare. The big guy said this was appropriate, since I am the woman's cat (me having chosen her as my preferred human, and all). I'm not entirely sure what he meant by this, but I do know that being named is good. It means they plan to keep me.

New Resolve

I usually use my Monday Mission posts to try my hand at humor. I take the blog style and do something a little out of the ordinary for me. And nearly always funny. Or at least... hopefully.

But today my style suggestion is New Year's Resolutions. And I could do something funny, like the resolutions of my new cat (leave hair on all articles of clothing, meow meaningfully at humans then lead them to the wall, lull them into complacency so they will keep me...) or even resolutions of The May Queen (get as tall as Daddy, eat a dessert the size of my head...)

But I am actually going to make some New Year's Resolutions.

And this is momentous, because I never make them. Really. I think I might have been in High School the last time I made resolutions.

And they are THEMED resolutions. Because who doesn't love a good theme? They are things I have wanted to do for quite some time, but haven't, for various reasons and excuses.

The theme is JOURNALING.

I resolve to keep THREE JOURNALS

1 - a Food log - everything I eat and drink
2 - a gratitude journal - everyday at least one thing I am grateful for
3 - a prayer journal - to help me with the discipline of prayer (I am pretty loosey goosey about this, and would like to be better) and to also give me a chance to look back and see the fruits of my prayers.
(journals 2 and 3 might actually be combined, as I plan to offer thanks for the things I'm grateful for...)

And will I write about these things on this journal, my blog? Maybe, we'll see. Probably. Because clearly I don't need to resolve to keep this up. I'm addicted, and plan to keep boring you for quite some time.

So? Got a post in the Style of New Year's Resolutions? They don't have to be yours. Put it in the Link below.

ACK! Mister Linky, my nifty widget provider that lets me do the cool links on the page appears to be down. ack. OK. drop me a line in the comments if you do a post, and I'll try to get links into this post, but I have friends in town so I make ZERO promises about that. So... the rest of you... check out the comments to find others who are partaking in the Monday Missions.

Links:
Dragonfly
SarcastaMom

New Missions for a New Year
(or at least a new month)
Write a post in the following style on these Mondays:
1/7- Thank You Letter
1/14- Movie Synopsis
1/21- Product Description
1/28- Children's book or poem

meow?

It all began this morning with a conversation on our back porch. I think I must have said "I don't want a cat" about a dozen times, at least.

As I type this, there is a cat in my lap.

We have unexpectedly taken in a kitty cat. We're doing this as a trial run. We had some friends who needed to find a home for a cat, and we agreed to give it a go. The cat would have been returned to a shelter today if we didn't take him, and we were clear with the friends we took him from that if things didn't work out they would need to take him back there. He's a really sweet long haired gray and white tabby cat - patient with the May Queen, and enjoys people. He's sitting in my lap right now. We'll see how it goes... what with my allergies and just the trials of pet ownership (you know, like cat bathing). The May Queen is rather gleeful over this new development. The Big Guy is, too. Me? I'm a bit wary of the whole thing, but we'll see.

*****
Monday's Mission is to write a post in the style of New Year's resolutions. I suppose it's too late for mine to be "stay feline free." Anyhow... get thinking about yours. Come back here on Monday and post a link. ALSO... I am still accepting ideas for next Month's Missions. Please leave in the comments or send me an email at pntdmaypoleATyahooDOTcom. I'd like to post the missions for January this Monday.

Bathing Multiple Cats

When I married my husband he had 5 cats. Yes, 5. Indoor cats. I am allergic to cats. Yes, I deserve a medal. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED those cats, but for the 9 years that they were a part of our home I endured shots and pills to try to deal with the itching that they caused me. In addition to cleaning up cat puke, vacuuming up cat hair, emptying the litter box AND being the primary giver of all medicines (which got to be a daily thing as several of them aged). And the bathing. Oh, the bathing.

For yesterday's Monday Mission Rose Daughter wrote a post about bathing her children. Which made me think of the plan my husband and I concocted for bathing the cats. Mind you, we never actually did this, as it would involve building a series of pulleys and such, but we are sure that it would have been much better than the way we did it, which usually ended up with a lot of yowling (the cats, mostly) a fair amount of swearing (us, although the yowling of the cats could probably be pretty well interpreted as "what the H**l do you f***ing think you're doing, @$$holes!?!?") and some bleeding (again, us, usually followed by more swearing).

And so, I give you our plan for bathing multiple cats.

*To properly bathe cats in this fashion you need a bathtub/shower with a sliding glass door, and a fancy set of pulleys and such. You'll have to engineer the pulley system yourself. I am not the engineer, just the idea girl

- fill bathtub with warm soapy water
- close the sliding glass door
- pick up your beloved kitties and drop them into the tub, over the glass door
- as the multiple kitties scramble to get out of the tub, they will essentially scrub each other clean
- use one of your fancy pulley doohickeys to pull the plug and empty the tub
- use another pulley to turn on the shower, rinsing off the cats
- rinsing of the cats may also be aided by the pouring of jugs of water over the top of the tub (from the safety of the other side of the glass door, of course)
- when the cats are good and rinsed, stop the water.
- line the bathroom with lots and lots of soft, dry towels. Leave nothing of value out in the bathroom.
- if you have a bathroom heater, turn that on as well.
- exit the bathroom and CLOSE THE DOOR
- (if you have cats, like some of ours, who can open simple doorknobs, you may need to install an exterior lock)
- use another pulley system to slide open the glass doors. The cats will scramble out of the tub
- leave the cats in the bathroom for a while to dry off via their frantic rubbing on the towels and the heat from the heater
- while the cats are drying themselves put away anything breakable or shreddable in your home. Be sure to leave a nice full dish of food and some brand new cat nip toys closely outside of the bathroom to distract/bribe them before they can wreck too much havoc on the rest of your home in righteous revenge
- exit your home
- use another pulley system to open the bathroom door, letting the cats out into the house
- allow the cats to become sufficiently high on the catnip before reentering your home

See. Isn't that easier than bathing them yourself?

This public service announcement has been brought to you by the letter C and the number 5.

** EDITED TO ADD:
for the record, when we got married my husband had had these cats for 6-7 years already. Pets are like family members, I firmly believe. My husband was gracious enough to say that if I was unable to live with the cats, that we would get rid of them. (We also made a deal that we would not get any new cats. Who knew that 2 of them would live to be 16?) We did keep them out of the bedroom for a while, until the doorknob broke in our old home and the door was so old and of an odd thickness that we couldn't find one that fit, and then the cats could just push the door open, and so much for that. I was also told I would never change a litter box. Which lasted for about 2 years. (but I'm not bitter about that part at all. OK, yes, I am). We bathed the cats because doctors told me that would help cut down on the allergens. Admittedly, the longer we were married the less we bathed the cats. The trade off just did not seem worth it.