Monday, November 9, 2009

Cafe Regret

Welcome to
Cafe Regret

Painted Maypole, owner

Dinner Menu

Not Your Nachos
We start of with a plate of crispy lost opportunities and heap it high with ground up ambitions and shredded roads not taken. The whole thing is topped off with "the one that got away"

What if Wantons
These crispy treats are full of fruitless wondering.

Anger Stew
This secret recipe has been simmering on the stove for days! Chock full of righteous indignation and self aggrandisement.

Eat Your Words Salad
Words of hatred, sarcastic comments and negative criticism, all atop a bed of lettuce that you made, and now you'll have to lie in.

Shoulda Said Pasta
Smart remarks, scathing blows and the perfect phrases comprise the sauce that swirls around the downward spiral noodles.

Too too chicken
A boneless, skinless chicken breast, broiled, then topped with our bland "too afraid I'll fail" sauce (a secret recipe!)

Not So Sweet Revenge
This nearly irresistible dessert tastes delicious at first, but leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth and a nasty case of heartburn.

House White Whine
Made from only the ripest regretful grapes. Grassy, with a dusty aftertaste.

House Red Whine
Made from the grapes of wrath, bottled up, aged to perfection, and just waiting to be uncorked.

Bitterness Brew
The perfect beer to cry in.

Blow Your Diet Coke
Full of sugar AND high fructose corn syrup. Guaranteed to be more calories than your meal.

*Don't see it on the menu? Ask your waitperson. Our fabulous chef may be able to whip up your personal regret into a hearty meal. We aim to please!


This post has been a Monday Mission. Your Mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write a post in the style of a menu. Play along and place your order (link to your post) in the widget below.

And join us next week, when our mission is to write a post in the style of a a Villanelle (this is a type of poetry, another suggested by De, and since we had such fun with her last poetry suggestions I thought we'd try it again! One famous example of a villanelle is Dylan Thomas' poem Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night)


MARY G said...

That's a wonderful construction, your menu up there. And so, so true. Are there Meant-To Mints to finish off with?
Mr Linky isn't showing up as of 7:30 am eastern. My menu is up, however.

Kat said...

Oh dear. I think I'll avoid this menu today. I just want some pancakes. ;)

kayerj said...

the house whine--I tend to indulge from time to time. Wonderful menu and way too true.

Kyla said...

Well done!

Laurel-Rain Snow said...

Very creative menu!

BTW, my first link doesn't work, but the second one does!

Laurel-Rain Snow said...

Very creative menu!

BTW, my first link doesn't work, but the second one does!

imbeingheldhostage said...

You are SO clever!! I find myself singing a Veggie Tales song there in the Wine List ;-)

Oh ok! "We are the Grapes
of Wrath,
we never take a bath..."

Jen said...

Too funny! I loved this!

alejna said...

That was just perfect! I loved it.

Now, if only I could write my own post. I keep waffling about what to post. Ooo, waffles. Are they are your breakfast menu?

Louise said...

Your cleverness blows me away!