This astrological forecast FOR THE MONTH OF OCTOBER is not based on when YOU were born, but rather, when your YOUNGEST CHILD WAS BORN
youngest child born March 07-Sept 07
YOUR MONTH: The moon is in retrograde, or something, it's in the sky, at least, at night, when you are awake, trying to feed/soothe/convince the baby to sleep. Fortunately Venus is bright in the closet of the house, filling it with cute and sweet smelling baby clothes. This month look forward to lots of time on the couch and pacing the hallways at night. YOUR LOVE LIFE: Don't even think about it.
youngest child born Sept 06- March 07
YOUR MONTH: In a month filled with "firsts," don't let this be the first time you forget to have fresh batteries in the camera. Also, be on the lookout for a first opportunity, it may not come around a second time. YOUR LOVE LIFE: This month may be the month to get back in the swing since giving birth. Let Madonna inspire you: "touched for the very first time." If it's been that long, you may feel like that, anyhow.
youngest child born Sept 05 - Sept 06
YOUR MONTH: With the sippy cup eclipsing the bottle in the eastern sky on the 4th you are in for a month of unreasonable tantrums. Your social life will suffer for this. Order lots of movies from Netflix and settle in. This will look up next month when the eclipse is over, and tantrums give over to lots of pudgy waving fingers and bright smiles of greeting. YOUR LOVE LIFE: Since you can't leave the house without Armageddon ensuing, dig out the candles and take advantage of being home after dark and the wee one has screamed itself to sleep, if you're not too tired.
youngest child born Sept 04-Sept 05
YOUR MONTH: Prepare to repeat every thing you say. If only you had your own instant replay button. But this too shall pass, when Mars enters your sign, making room for November's musical madness. YOUR LOVE LIFE: Use the intimate moments to NOT repeat yourself; this is a great month to try something new!
youngest child born Sept 03 - Sept 04
YOU MONTH: Your child won't be the only one having sharing issues this month. Be careful not too spill too many intimate secrets too soon, your new confidante may not be as trustworthy as you think. YOUR LOVE LIFE: Don't be afraid to demand your equal share in bed, your partner will be happy to oblige.
youngest child born Sept 02 - Sept 03
YOUR MONTH: A windfall of fortune awaits you: money, good behavior, world wide respect, deep friendships, much laughter, significant weight loss and instant six pack abs. YOUR LOVE LIFE: Sizzle.
youngest child born Sept 01 - Sept 02
YOUR MONTH: As time stretches out before you, try your hand at something new or a lost passion. Don't get stuck in a rut! YOUR LOVE LIFE: Surprise your honey with an afternoon delight.
youngest child born Sept 1901 - Sept 2001
the future is foggy.
Can you guess which category I fall into? That's right, dear readers. Why write a future forecast and not give myself a fantabulous month to look forward to? I'm sure it's all going to come true. I really researched this stuff. Really. Stop laughing. Glamour and Parenting magazines count as research at Painted Maypole Astrological University. I graduated head of my class.
This sad excuse for a horoscope is part of Monday Missions - This week's Mission is to write a post in the style of a horoscope. If you want to play along with your own horoscope (please, please, don't leave me alone to flounder out here in the universe!) put the link to your post into my nifty little Mr. Linky widget below. And be sure to mention the Monday Missions in your post, and perhaps even link back to here, so people can check out the other horoscopes. Because it can never hurt to know what you're in for. Speaking of which, next week, you're in for a mission of writing a post in the style of a resume. I predict that you will start thinking about your brilliant entry... now. Or, at the very least, after you check out these other horoscope posts to find out what the future has in store: