Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Mama Bear Goes to School

First of all, I must thank all of you for your kind and encouraging comments to my post about The May Queen being teased at school. Your love and advice were much appreciated.

Today this Mama Bear went to school to protect her Cub. Okay, it wasn't that dramatic. I didn't bat away the pesky children with my large, sharp clawed paw. There was no growling involved. Instead, I sat my Mama Bear behind in a small blue chair and talked with MQ's teacher. She was as kind and loving and sweet of a kindergarten teacher as you could possibly dream. It seems as if it is about the best case scenario, in that the "teasing" is not specifically targeted at MQ, and that most of it isn't actual teasing at all, but rather a form of playing. For instance, I brought up the "you stink" insult, and it seems as if they were playing a game of tag, where rather than saying "you're it!" the kids would yell "you stink!" The teacher readily agreed that this isn't a good idea, and will help the kids change the way the game is played. She promised to talk generally to all the kids about playing together, speaking kindly, and including everyone. She will also be on the lookout for this kind of behavior when the kids are playing so it can be dealt with. I was proud of myself for not crying (I'm tired and having some kind of sinus craziness and rather prone to tears these days) and very pleased with how kind and open MQ's teacher was. We talked a bit about MQ being more sensitive, perhaps, than the other kids to this sort of thing, but how that shows an understanding of hurtful things and right and wrong. The teacher then went on to give a bit of a review of MQ's strengths and weaknesses - and while I won't got into all of them here, I sure was a proud (if not a bit surprised!) Mama Bear to hear that my little girl is always kind, friendly, and easily shares. Her teacher told me the story about how for a few days there was a special needs girl in the classroom - trying to determine if she was ready to come into a regular kindergarten class. One day the mother was there with her, and MQ was sitting with them at lunch. MQ said to the girl "Someday when you come over to play out my house....." Her teacher said that while MQ and the girl talked together, the mother's eyes filled with tears of joy, to hear someone be so kind to her daughter.

And so I know that the lessons we are trying to teach her are sinking in. She will not always do the right thing. She will sometimes be more hurt by the teasing of other kids than she needs to be. She may some days even be the kid yelling "you stink!" But hopefully, with her sensitive heart, there will be more days where she is sitting with the odd girl out, and inviting her to play.

21 comments:

jen said...

it's these victories, isn't it...big and small...we protect as best we can, we teach as best we can, and we hope, hope, hope that it helps them to fly.

nicely done, you.

alejna said...

Sensitivity is both a gift and a curse. It's wonderful to hear how your daughter is so kind and generous with other kids. Good for you, and for her!

slouching mom said...

Raising her to be kind...the most important thing, I think.

Kudos to you!

Chaotic Joy said...

Oh I'm crying. Well I have been crying all night, because I am a big sappy crybaby, but now I am crying more, because you should be so proud of your Mayqueen.

And I'm proud of you mama bear too.

niobe said...

It's not all that surprising that MQ is always kind, friendly, and easily shares. She sounds just like her mama.

Blog Antagonist said...

Sensitivity is not a bad thing. My oldest son is very sensitive. It can be difficult for him sometimes, but other times, it's a gift.

You're daughter sounds like a really special little girl.

Beck said...

Your little girl sounds like a wonderful person - good job, Mama. And her teacher sounds sensitive, open and empathetic, so I'm certain that she'll deal with things beautifully.

nomotherearth said...

I'm sorry I missed the first post, but it sounds like you handled it beautifully. I am always impressed by people who stand up for themselves, are proactive - instead of just accepting the things that happen. Good for you.

Magpie said...

Wonderful little girl, with a great mama.

thailandchani said...

Right on! I'm glad you did that. In no way should hurtful activity be dismissed as "playing". It's not playing.

Glad the teacher is willing to deal with it.


Peace,

~Chani
http://thailandgal.blogspot.com

Jennifer said...

I missed the original post, somehow, but I'm in tears right now, reading this one. (Sensitivity? *weak grin*). I think you handled this perfectly and MQ's teacher sounds wonderful. And despite the burden that it can be, at times, to be a sensitive soul, you can know you are raising a kind, good-hearted little girl. Such an amazing gift to this world.

Sober Briquette said...

What happy news - that you were able to have a conversation with a receptive teacher, and that you were able to do it without tears (I cry so ridiculously easily this is always a HUGE triumph for me).

Having a good experience in school is really important to each child's outlook and growth. I hope MQ and all her classmates have a GREAT year.

*sniffle*

Christine said...

i love that may queen! just LOVE her.

good job, mama bear.

Ambassador said...

MP, a week after Katrina, my mom confessed to a dear friend that she was worried that I'd seen things in New Orleans that had "offended my sensibilities". Some of us never grow out of our empathy. Great post, and thank you for dropping by - Keep up the good work! Ken

NotSoSage said...

I've just caught up on all of your posts that I've missed. I'm glad that you had a good meeting with the teacher.

It's amazing to me that what I take the greatest pride in with my little one is how absolutely accepting she is of people, too. I've been meaning to write a post about this, but it's one that takes a little more time than a quick firing off at lunch at work or a crossing-my-fingers-that-the-internet-doesn't-cut-out stress at home.

You're doing an excellent job with that little one, PM.

Jen M. said...

I just read that post - and weighing in late on this, but you go, Mama Bear!

We've dealt with teasing with our girls (it's not nearly as rampant with boys, it should seem) and it was not fun. But yes, there are so many lessons to be learned from experiences like that.

It sounds like you're doing a GREAT job. It is really hard parenting kids, but I think sometimes the challenges that come up with little girls are even more trying on us moms.

Amy York said...

I love the way you handled that situation... And hooray for positive reinforcement. That's the thing about parenting ~ there is no report card really. It's hard to tell how good a job you're doing. But it feels great when you hear things like this! I'm hopefully that things continue to look up for your beautiful MQ! :)

Furrow said...

I'm sorry, I somehow missed the first post on this topic. Dear, dear, May Queen. She sounds like a truly kind soul. I hope she never lets that be bullied into hiding. With a great mama bear like you guiding her, I'll bet she'll be just fine.

Mad Hatter said...

It's good to know you have an honest and understanding relationship with the teacher.

Emily said...

Oh, my goodness. There is NOTHING you should be more proud of as a mother than that.

ewe are here said...

I've just read both posts on this, and I have to say, your daughter sounds like a sweet little angel. You must be so proud of her.


I'm glad the teacher listened, really listened, to your concerns, and plans to address some of them with her young charges. I wish more teachers would nip such problems in the bud at an early age... it could prevent so much pain as they get older.