It only seems appropriate to follow up the baring of my teenage soul via poetry and pictures (and thank you all for your kind words. You all rock. Come on over so I can make you a non-teenagery margarita, will you?) with a letter to my teenage self. I read the first one of these over at RimaRama (and it was hysterical, like every post she writes, that crazy Lithuanian!) and apparently her post was a response to Amy's writing challenge to write a letter to yourself when you were 14-17.
(the name is the name of my super character from the cartoon series my best friend and I used to write - I use her super name, too)
Relax. Please, relax. You are absolutely lovely.
Stand up straight. Yes, I know that makes you taller than nearly every boy at school, but do it anyways. And you really don't need to hide behind those huge clothes. Super skinny girls won't be all the rage until you are no longer one of them, but you can still be proud of your figure.
Relax. You have a wonderful friendship. Bertha may get distracted now and then by her current boyfriend, but you know that she is always there for you. Enjoy your time together, and keep that friendship strong. Trust me on this one, we still hang out when we happen to be in the same state.
Relax. Those boys? They are a bit scared of you, it's true. You're smart, and you're not willing to compromise your values. Those are good things. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Oh, and you're taller than them. Although I still suspect that may bother you more than it bothers them (you will later date a guy in college who finds that rather nice, actually). That cute boy with the girlfriend? Honey, forget him. There are several very nice boys looking your way if you would just bother to look theirs. And if not, relax. Love is coming. Sweet wonderful love and friendship. True, your heart will break, and there will be some (OK, a lot of) pain involved, but it's worth it. And ultimately? You marry a wonderful man. He's quite a bit like your father, actually, although maybe I shouldn't tell you that. And while we're on the subject, you may not want to make any statements that begin with "I would never marry a ..." because I tell you now, God will look down on you and say "Ha!" But it's a good thing, really.
Relax. When you don't make the JV cheerleading squad, you will be very sad. But better things are coming. (Hint: find your way down to the drama room)
Those journals you keep? Keep it up. They are good for you to get your feelings out. But may I suggest that you write about the good things, too, and about the other things you are passionate about? I mean besides the cute boy with the girlfriend (and has it occurred to you that you always seem to like a boy with a GIRLFRIEND? Perhaps you might want to think about what this might indicate). Write about your faith. Write about your friendships. Write about the causes you fight for, and the work you do to combat racism. Write about your family, so you have a record of your time together. Write about how you feel about the world and your place in. Just keep writing.
Learn to cook. Follow your mother into the kitchen and ask her to show you a few things. This will definitely come in handy later, I promise you.
Be proud of who you are, and what you do. And relax. You can not do it all. But you will do enough.
Oh. And if you haven't already sold all of your Star Wars figurines at a garage sale yet HOLD ON TO THEM!! They will be collectors items, and you can make a fortune selling them over the Internet. "What's the Internet?" It's hard to explain, but just trust me on this one.
Oh. And Calculus. Don't bother. You won't pass the AP test and then you will wonder why you spent all year doing very hard math problems with no college credit to show for it. Take art or something instead; it will be much more useful for you in the long run.
Owell - 20 years later