Monday, October 1, 2007

Lactation Station - Monday Mission

I am not currently hosting the Monday Missions, that job has been passed on to The Flying Mum. But I decided to still play along. This week's mission: "Congratulations! You are a top executive at a breakout new cable TV company. TV Guide wants to publish a sampling of your new fall lineup. For this post, please provide them with a description of some of the new shows."

In the latest offering of niche cable stations, Lactation Station is actually TWO cable stations. Lactation Stations will run late nights on several stations that run children's programs during the day. Executives at Lactation Station tell us that their mission is to provide nursing mothers who are up at various intervals through the night with something to watch. The first station, which takes over Nickelodeon at 10pm, is Lactation Station's "Boob Tube News." Like NPR's promise of "give us 22 minutes and we'll give you the world," Boob Tube News aims to boil down the top news stories into appx. 20 minute chunks, allowing a nursing mother to catch up on world events, thus allowing her to not feel so out of the loop at dinner parties and in general conversation. Between each news cycle will be brief videos about breastfeeding, including sections on proper latch, increasing your milk production, and how to protest Bill Maher and Facebook. Lactation Stations second offering will begin at 10pm on the Disney Channel. This station promises to play nothing but the most beloved of Chick Flicks - movies you've seen so many times that you won't mind missing the beginning or end, movies that feel like old friends when you watch them in fits and starts in the middle of the night, movies that require no concentration, but fill you with memories. Some of the movies being offered are Dirty Dancing, Bridges of Madison County, Sixteen Candles, and Girls Just Want to Have Fun.

In the "Great Minds Think Alike" department, check out Mad's post for Lactation Nation. I swear to you that I did not read her post before I wrote mine, but one of us sure does look like a copycat! (and her post was posted first, alas)

19 comments:

Beck said...

Oh, if only....

niobe said...

Utterly brilliant. (and, yes, that extremely bad pun was entirely unintentional)

theflyingmum said...

Oh my God...
I was actually up watching the Disney Channel in the wee hours with the breast pump firmly clamped to my chest when I was trying to increase my milk production. This was sheer GENIUS! I'm still working on mine, but will link all who played along as soon as I publish. THANKS!

Mad Hatter said...

It's an idea whose time has come. Take back the airwaves, oh, lactating mothers!

Amy York said...

Copycat.
Just teasing :)
Sounds perfect!! Maybe someone who actually has the power to do a station like that will read your post somehow... Then you'll be rich and famous and we can say we knew you when!

Amy said...

"Some of the movies being offered are Dirty Dancing, Bridges of Madison County, Sixteen Candles, and Girls Just Want to Have Fun."

Ok, how pathetic is it that I have NEVER seen any of those?

I suppose I should contact my local cable company and tell them to pick up Lactation Station, just for that reason.

Jennifer said...

Sign me up!!

ewe are here said...

Chick flicks all night on Disney? Fantastic! Sign me up!

Rimarama said...

Love it. Would have totally watched it while I was still breastfeeding!

WorksForMom said...

Yeah - now that is genius! Where can I sign up too???

nomotherearth said...

I could have used this station while feeding the Boy. Only I would have needed hour-long shows. I would also suggest that they make sure they don't replay the same episodes every 3-4 hours.

furrow said...

Sounds fab. If the postpartum hormones do the same as the pregnancy hormones have done, I'll be all about some chick flicks. Moreso than I used to be.

Christine said...

love it, lady! you and mad really have something going here. . .

Jen said...

LOL, what a PERFECT idea!

alejna said...

You've got some great ideas! Will you be pitching them to the networks?

The only Chick Flick on your list that I've seen is Sixteen Candles...I suppose it's time I get around to seeing those others.

I went through a lot of DVDs those first couple of months, though. Having something on TV to watch would have saved me the efforts to haul myself off the couch and change discs...

Alex Elliot said...

Even as a formula feeder, I would have love to have watched those stations!

carrie said...

Oh, you crack me up!

I have so many memories of bad tv in the wee hours of the night . . . I'd usually fall asleep myself only to wake up hours later, with my boob hanging out and wondering why I didn't just do this in bed?

thailandchani said...

I think they already have that... It's called "Lifetime TV for Women".

LOL


Peace,

~Chani
http://thailandgal.blogspot.com

Alpha DogMa said...

I use to watch Animal Planet or Biography in the middle of the night when nursing. And then I'd tell the husband what I learned over breakfast. It was a nice ritual that ensured I was not losing ALL my brain matter with the rigours of new motherhood. But I'd have rather watched chick flicks.