Monday, October 29, 2007

Maypole a Drunk!!

5 time Tony Award winner and 2008 Oscar hopeful Painted Maypole was spotted today spilling a drink all over herself while staring at her computer. The drink came out of a coffee mug, but as she didn't immediately begin yelling like a scalded person, but rather just calmly wiped it off and went right back staring at the computer screen we can only assume that she was drinking something much stronger than coffee. At 8:30 in the morning. Former students in her summer drama camps informed us that she was often seen with refillable bottles of a brownish liquid at their early morning classes. Painted Maypole claimed it was iced tea, but the students swear that it was whiskey. "She always seemed a bit off," one student said, "and she made us repeat ourselves all the time." A representative of Ms. Maypole claims that was some sort of "Meisner" exercise. Seems to us like Painted Maypole needs to exercise some 12 steps.


This sad excuse for a scandalous post is for this week's Monday Mission, hosted by The Flying Mum. The mission was: You are a Superstar! What are the tabloids saying about you today? I really did, however, spill barely warm tea all over myself while trying to think what to write.

I'll be hosting Monday Missions back here at my humble blog for the month of November. Monday Missions are open to anyone who wants to play along. I try to get mine up on Sunday night, so you can then drop by and enter your info into my nifty widget. The missions give us a chance to stretch our posting style a bit, and have been, for me, a lot of fun. Play along with any and all, or none at all! The missions for November, should you choose to accept them, are to write posts in the style of...
11/5 - A news story
11/12- A script (dialogue and stage directions)(thanks to Chani)
11/19- a spiel for your favourite charity -- serious or spoof (thanks to Mary G)
11/26- Directions

25 comments:

Family Adventure said...

Too funny! 5 time Tony Award winner and all! I am going to check out the others now!

And...I'll look on Sunday, and see if this is something I might be able to handle next Monday.

Heidi :)

Sober Briquette said...

Can't wait to see what you're wearing on the red carpet.

Love the November line up. Thanks (again) for hosting (again).

Rimarama said...

Oh, you scandalous Maypole! What's next - Vodka in the Evian bottle?

I need to start doing these Missions again. Will try to get my act together for next Monday!

Emily said...

Ha. I love it that the most scandalous thing about you is luke warm tea!

I like the news story idea. I'll have to see if I can get my act together for that one.

Suz said...

Very fun and funny! The script is going to be tough!

Victoria said...

You are sooo famous!

Neat! Thanks again for the Tag. It was my first. And my husband was all like "why are you excited about TAG??" *grin*

jen said...

why are the famous ones always drunk?

i love that your brain works like this.

niobe said...

Ooooo...thanks for the gossip item about one of my favorite celebrities.

slouching mom said...

What Emily said, LOL!

Mad Hatter said...

Oh my, I am so behind in my reading but I had no idea that dissipation was the result for some. Pull yourself together, PM; pull yourself together.

Kathryn said...

You are a wild one! Go crazy with that tea, why don't ya?
Great ideas for November. Thanks!

Jennifer said...

Love it, you lush. ;)

Luisa Perkins said...

Cracking up over "Meisner."

Julie Pippert said...

LOL sneaky drinker, Meisner exercises, LOL!

Good one.

Even I finally got up and got going and did one this week. :)

Julie
Using My Words

blooming desertpea said...

you're always full of wit - liked it a lot!

Christine said...

you tipsy lush you!

this was great, pm.

flutter said...

lusty wench! Um, btw what the heck is your actual email address? I keep trying to respond to your wonderful comments and they come back to me, dead :(

Mary G said...

Snork! You did it rather well, I think. I stand in the grocery line reading that stuff and end up giggling so badly I am sure the checker thinks I'm on bubble tea.

Nice lineup for the Monday Missions. And bless you for doing it. I will (underlined and in caps) get back into it. And thanks for taking my idea.

WorksForMom said...

Oh you lush of a lady with your wild warm tea ways!

Tracey said...

I always knew you had a problem...

:)

thirtysomething said...

Funny!

Amy York said...

I totally fell for that... thinking you were an alcoholic and it was a cry for help. You never know, though it did seem out of character from what I've read about you. ;) Thanks for the giggle...

I wish I was creative enough to participate in Monday Missions... but alas, I suck at this stuff. All I can do it blab about our boring lives. ;)

Chrissy said...

Oh, so creative you are. I haven't been brave enough to try one yet, but maybe I'll give the news story a shot.

Great job.

Anna said...

So fun. I'm in!

Anna at Hank and Willie

susiej said...

You are FUNNY! I will try.