Protesters descended on the mall today holding aloft signs that read "NaBloPoMo BLOWS" and "Stop the Posting: Stop the Insanity." Several speakers took the microphone and spoke of not being able to get their Google Reader lists down below 100. "Everytime I read a blog and hit "Mark all as Read" the Reader refreshes and the number is HIGHER. They're posting faster than I can read!" Another speaker complained that she had no time to write her own posts. One weary protester had leaned her sign against a tree and sat down with her laptop. "I don't have time for this protest," she protested under her breath, "I have blogs to read!" The blogger known as Painted Maypole stepped up to the microphone. She clutched a nearly empty Mountain Dew bottle in one hand, and sported a stunning set of undereye circles. "Please. We love you. We want to read your posts. But every day? We need a break. Some of us have lives. Some of us need SLEEP. Some of us are fighting off colds. Some of us are preparing to embarrass ourselves by singing in a foreign language on stage this very weekend. We can't keep up. Please, if you must post each day, please, please, for the love of all things bloggy, keep them SHORT!" She paused to take a swig of her Mountain Dew, and looked up to see a group of counter protestors arriving. Their signs read "It's not about YOU reading, it's about ME posting" "I post everyday. You don't have to." Many of the counter protestors came bearing trays of coffee, which they began passing out to the crowd. One kind person offered up a fresh bottle of Mountain Dew to Painted Maypole and asked for a chance to speak into the microphone. Painted Maypole aqueisced (or fell off the platform) "We love you. Read us when you can. You don't have to comment every day. It's OK" Signs were lowered as hugs were given all around. Groups began moving off into local bars and coffee shops for conversation. Some people were live blogging from their i-phones. One lone protester was left leaning against a tree, asleep, her laptop screen casting an eerie glow onto her restful form. 250 unread items.
This post is part of the Monday Missions. All are welcome to write their own posts. This week's Mission is to write a post in the style of a news article. If you accept the mission, please enter the link to your post in the widget below! Next week's mission is to write a post as a script/dialogue.
And I am still in the midst of opera craziness, cold fighting (a losing battle) and less computers in the house... so please, please be patient with me if I am not reading and commenting as often. I love you. Even if you are posting everyday, you crazy people.
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37 comments:
Funny! And so true! I laughed about them passing out trays of coffee. Very creative.
This was really good. Thanks for the laugh.
This. was. perfect. (and oh so true). :)
hilarious. i was just thinking about how all of you are NaBlowing and it's blowing up my reader!
OMG, I was there at the mall!
Too funny. I'm dying over here. Reading more than posting. My husband's ready to kill me.
Ya know, that's the first thing I thought, when I started seeing NaBloPoMo posts everywhere, how will I ever keep up? I am being overrun with posts. And then what did I do, I hopped up and joined them. But I did keep them short. Hee.
This was great. Very funny and true.
Whew. Glad the protest ended peacefully!
The posts are mounting up for me, too. But I just skim read on the Bloglines and click over when the posts are funny or catchy (like this one!) or are about something that I actually have something to comment on.
HaHA! That was hilarious! I was just over at the NaBloPoMo site trying to sign up for a freaking group but it isn't working. Now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn't. I'm having a hard enough time getting time away from the little guys to write my posts as it is.
Hope your cold is getting better, and you are 100% for the show this weekend.
You are hilarious!! I love how it ended with a group hug! :)
Take it easy and get better - the blogs can wait. Truly! But I'm not sure about your Italian director!
Heidi
hahahaha.
So true. So true. I can't keep up!
Oh that post was a gift from heaven!
For the first few lines, I thought that it was a REAL protest. Sigh.
This was really funny. Great job.
(I guess I won't complain that I've got 26 unread.)
That was FABULOUS!! Hats off. I loved that. With the passing of Brownie -- I'm just not up for it today.
Hee hee - I am short today (just to tempt you).
Can I tell you a secret? I don't "do" bloglines. I just check my little list on the right of my blog. I may miss a few posts but - guess what - that's o.k.
Break a leg this weekend! Funny how I was dealing with a cold before my performance this time last year. Alright, maybe not funny but a coincidence!
Great post! And I feel your pain. I have to spend every waking second reading blogs, and they seem to be multiplying.
So, I'm guilty of only reading headlines and of not commenting. But I have an excuse... I'm writing a novel here (NaNoWriMo).
PM, you've outdone yourself this time. This post was so funny! And so true!
It's not just the NaBloPoMoers who suffer during the month of November. What about all of us poor readers?
Hahahahahaa! You're so right.
It's amazing how NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo have totally fried us....
2-4-6-8
NaPo-Blowing makes me irate!!!
Hey hey
Ho Ho
NaPoBloMo's got to go!!!!
Very funny post, PM. I love my NaPoBloMo bloggers as much as the next guy but I swear that my Nov resolution is to hit "mark all as read" at the end of each day. It's the only way to keep my sanity.
Great post!
I am actually not posting any more than usual but I AM working to be shorter than usual. And less taxing. No pun intended.
Julie
Using My Words
Good one. I need to jump on this band wagon. Um,maybe next Monday?
Any protest that serves free coffee is a protest I'd like to participate in. And once I signed on to NaBloPoMo, I accepted the fact that the commetns would be sparser because few of my readers actually make it by every day... c'est la vie.
dude this was a riot!
and for the record, i am so NOT doing nopo whatever. . .
You're so hilarious!
Ha! I love it!
*Giggling*
Feel better!!
I like the news stories and feel crazier for having written mine. It's a good feeling!
Thanks for the wonderful laugh! What a creative post.
Can I tell you how much I loved this post? Seriously? Seriously!
I'm going nuts. There is so much reading to do that I can't even post (and it's been three days). My reader can't seem to drop below 80 unread items. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Help. Me!
You crack me up. This was beautiful.
I'm sorry to be among the guilty NaBlowers. I'm suffering from it, too, since I've found a bunch of new blogs to read from the NaBloRanks. What I was I thinking?
I have been striving, though, to keep my own posts short. I should also learn to keep my comments short.
I don't post every day... Mostly because I'm reading everyone else's. I love your Monday Missions ~ girl, you crack me up! :)
Hope you feel better soon and good luck with the opera craziness... Maybe you could post a video so we can see you?
That was hysterical! Which is a little like what I'm feeling - I'm just trying to keep up on blogs I've bookmarked as fun, let alone read those in NaBloPoMo land .. and post every day. The problem is I have so much fun reading the blogs, it interferes with my job. Have to go back to work now:(
So funny, I am honored with your comment knowing how many blogs you have to read!
I didn't get to do Monday Mission after all, but I'll do it another week for sure.
24 posts to go! :)
Hilarious! (And SO TRUE!!)
LOL!!! Love it.
Brilliant. And sadly so true. I've got the Na-Blahs from this daily ritual. By day 15 I'm going to posting up random youtube clips - and you are under no obligation to post...but, it would be nice if you did.
(Psst...did you ever my email?)
Oh, this is SO true. I can't wait for NoBlowWhatever to be over - I shiver each time I open Google Reader...
catherine
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