Tuesday, December 2, 2008

You'll be older too And if you say the word I could stay with you.

Well, tonight it happened. The cheating. On the way home from rehearsal. Infidelity. And I did not toss the book on CD out the window and into the lake, although I thought about it.

Although I listened to the lead up with growing dread and anger, I will keep listening to the book. I like the writing, and I am curious as to what the author will do now. Before the transgression occurred the female character sat at a table with 2 older ladies and confessed her feelings, and they spoke with her about their own extramarital loves; what they did and didn't do about them, and what they regretted and didn't regret. I thought that perhaps we don't, in our lives, speak of these things enough in an honest way so as to support a friend though a similar temptation. So... we'll see. But I'm disappointed that the novel has gone that direction.

Earlier in the day, however, I saw some things that strengthened my hope in marriage, in sticking it out. As I entered the mall an elderly couple was leaving. The gentlemen held his wife's elbow, and around her other arm dangled a Victoria's Secret bag. Yes, perhaps it was a gift for someone else, but I prefer to think that they had just gone in and picked out something special together. Then later I sat next to a couple in the movie theatre (Australia - highly recommended...). They were at least in their 70s, and throughout the three hour movie they held hands, and left the theatre the same way.

THAT is where I hope to be in 40 years, with The Big Guy by my side.

****
recognize the lyrics I used for the title?

18 comments:

Chrissy said...

The lyrics are familiar, but I can't place them....

LOVED Australia. LOVED it. I haven't loved a movie like that in quite a while. Good stuff.

Beck said...

I HATEHATEHATE cheating books, books that show cheating as this redemptive, life-affirming thing. Ick!

Sober Briquette said...

No clue on the song.

I have NO idea what's current at the movie theater either. I've got to get with it!

Fiona has a book out from the library called Roller Coaster. There is a cute old couple illustrated, & they look like they are having the time of their lives. I'm pretty sure I won't be riding the Coasters when I'm a senior citizen, as I can hardly muster the stomach to do it now, but I'd like to have the charisma the artist gave those characters.

Mary G said...

Forty six years and counting. And if you want a togetherness thing, how about a shared hankie during a sad movie. No? Don't blame you.

alejna said...

When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now...

I didn't have a chance to comment on your earlier post, but I also can't stand infidelity themes in books/shows/movies.

Sarcasta-Mom said...

I think there's still hope, and every so often it's nice to see some tangible proof. I fully expect DH and I to be wiping each other's.... drool someday.

Chantal said...

I hope the same thing about myself and my husband!

painted maypole said...

alejna's got it! do her lyrics help anyone else place it?

Kat said...

I love seeing older couples walking hand in hand or eating out together. It always makes me smile.
When the hubby and I went to see Four Christmases the other night an older couple was sitting next to us. It was so cute listening to them comment on the movie together. And at the end of the movie the gentleman helped his lady up, put her coat on for her, and led her out of the theater gently holding on to her elbow. :)

Amy Y said...

I don't recognize the lyrics... and I can't wait to see that movie!

My hubby and I have been together for 12 years (!) and we still hold hands everywhere ~ unless we are holding the boys' hands. Hopefully we'll still be that way in our 70's.

Mad said...

When I'm 64...

I think too many people are to invested in romance and sex. When their marriages don't deliver a 20-something aesthetic into their 40s and 50s, they walk. That's sad.

I don't need to be holding my husband's hand when I'm 64 but I hope I'll be making fun of his ear wax and he'll keep rolling his eyes when I fart in bed.

Woman in a Window said...

I don't mind the cheating stuff in movies or books perse but not as redemptive. Learning or teaching maybe, but not redemptive. We're much too loose in our society today with our morals and our marriages. Too disposable, this world.

Alex Elliot said...

I too hope that when my hubby and I are in our 70's we'll be one of those cute old couples walking down the street holding hands.

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Lennon/McCartney - When I'm 64.

We're not the handholding type, but I have a feeling that D and I will be together, warts and all, truly til death do us part. 20 years and counting. ;-)

imbeingheldhostage said...

I love seeing Steve Martin sing it :-)
I'm with you on frustrating-- it seems people who stay together 60+ for years just aren't interesting enough to write about anymore :-(

E said...

Mr Gram's marriage advice was simple. The secret to staying together she always said, was to stay together

Yes

no matter what....

And lots of good sex I might add....

g said...

I love your observation of the couple coming from Victoria's Secret!

I'm fortunate to have known several people whose marriages have been long and happy. Of course there are those whose marriages have been long...and bitter, but they still stay together.

Re: the cheating - early in my marriage I briefly became so attracted to someone that I THOUGHT about it, but didn't do anything, and the guy was not one to take advantage (or wasn't into me!). And even now I sometimes feel guilty that i even THOUGHT about it.

I am ever thankful that I found the person I found.

ewe are here said...

I love seeing older couples out and about holding hands... because that's what I imagine for us as well.