Monday, May 19, 2008

Universe: Sit down and listen up

Listen up, Universe. It's clear that I need to lay down some ground rules here. I understand that things can't be fine and dandy all the time, and I took the news about the May Queen's Godmother having breast cancer fairly well. But now you're really pushing my limits here, and I'm done. So here are the rules. Pay attention.

1. NO MORE CANCER! Do you hear me? She took aggressive measures to make sure the cancer would be gone and would not spread. These new spots on her lung? Not Cancer. NOT CANCER. It is not allowed. Don't even think about it. Something must have gone wrong with the test. These spots will disappear, or be harmless. No more cancer. This is non-negotiable.

2. Family chaos must stop. Enough already. A mother with dementia? A mother in law who refuses to move out of her home after the recent death of her husband, even though she can't take care of herself? Godmother is too weak to be the caretaker she usually is. She can't take care of herself and all of these people, too. The last thing she needs while she is trying to heal is guilt that she's not doing enough. So knock it off.

3. Stop with the additional health problems. Scoliosis? REALLY?!? Come on. Talk about kicking someone while they're down. And unexplained blood in the urine? No. That unexplained blood is just going to disappear. Gone. NO MORE HEALTH PROBLEMS.

4. The May Queen's Godmother is going to live a long life. A LONG LIFE, do you hear me? She has two boys to finish raising. She does so much good in this world through her friends, her family, her church, her volunteering and her nursing job.

5. And while you're at it, Universe, enough with the cyclones and the earthquakes and the hurricanes and war and whatever else you've got out there brewing. Enough tragedy already. Sunshine and rainbows and love, OK?

I don't believe in spanking, Universe, but I'm about to whoop your behind and send you to the corner, because I have had it. You better start shaping up.


*******
These (sadly completely unenforceable) rules have been a Monday Mission. Write your own rules and let me know, and I'll post a link in the post.

Mary Beth is laying down the House Rules for her furry and feathered friends

I realize next week is Memorial Day, and lots of you may be away from your computers, but with blogger's new ability to write your posts ahead of time there's no excuse not to join in the mission and write a post in the form of a warning label.

30 comments:

the dragonfly said...

Insanity.

That is all just...crazy. I agree with you: No more health problems!

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Oh, PM, my heart goes out to MQ's Godmother and her family. One thing about those lung spots, though... almost everyone has them. Let's hope they're nothing more than that.

thailandchani said...

Your mouth to God's ear :)

Jennifer said...

I'll back your rules. Any time.

(((Hugs)))

Mary Beth said...

My thoughts and prayers are with MQ's godmother!

I've posted my list of rules at http://marybeth494.blogspot.com/2008/05/house-rules-brought-to-you-by-monday.html

slouching mom said...

oh, no. i'll be thinking hard about (and hoping for good news about) MQ's godmother.

xo

Alpha DogMa said...

Yeah, Universe. Get with the program. Sunshine and Rainbows all around. And unicorns. Throw in a couple of unicorns, too.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Wow, this list hits hard... I'm so sorry for the crap (can I say that word on your blog?) the universe seems to be throwing at you. My heart hurt reading this. Prayers going up for MQ's Godmum...

wright said...

Woo Hoo! You go PM! You tell that Universe to stop screwing with all of us. Thanks for laying down the law!

Have a great day!

wheelsonthebus said...

The universe seems to be ignoring your rules lately, and I think you should post them in bigger font.

Furrow said...

The universe certainly has a lot of explaining to do. I don't think time-out is going to cut it. If ever anyone deserved a spanking...

I'm sorry MQ's godmother keeps getting kicked. Just so not fair.

Beck said...

The universe needs to start listening to you right NOW, I think. Sorry for all of this.

E said...

Funny movies...you all need some healthy endorphins going over there. Good vibes from Vermont to you.

(Everyone has lung spots. Most are harmless. Let's imagine these as pretty little pink polka dots...keep us posted)

womaninawindow said...

Maybe the Universe needs a good role in the hay, you know, an afterglow. Maybe that would do...or at least last for a few minutes before it rolled over and drifted off to sleep.

Angie McDowell Garza said...

I just hate it when Mercury goes into retrograde thus throwing off the Universe. What's next? All kidding aside, my prayers and well-wishes to you and your family. ang

alejna said...

Here's hoping the Universe will pay attention and realize it does not want to face the further wrath of the Maypole.

My thoughts are with MQ's godmother. What a load she's dealing with.

jen said...

babe, you more than anyone has a direct line to the top.

Victoria said...

Excellent list. May it all be as you wish, MP.

And MQ's godmother? She's in my thoughts.

Amy Y said...

Not cancer... Not cancer...

I got your back with these rules, Mama.

Kyla said...

NOT CANCER. Not.

I agree.

Don Mills Diva said...

Sorry you're going through all of this - I hope you scared the universe into total compliance!

soccer mom in denial said...

Rant away dear one. Rant away.

[And sorry for being MIA.]

MamaGeek said...

Near and dear to my heart. I, too, will back this RULE anyday.

Mary G said...

Oh my! If only you could!

Lovely post. You are so gifted.

Chantal said...

I am with you on all of this. I have an idea of how you feel. I know when my mom told me she had cancer I teetered between breakdown and panic for 3 years. She was just recently declared cancer free. I pray for your May Queens god mom, for your best friend, so that she hears those words some day soon!

Bayou Belle said...

I am sorry to hear all this.

Barrie said...

May you be heard!

JCK said...

Amazing mission post AGAIN. So sorry about the cancer the May Queen's Godmother is experiencing. Sending healing thoughts.

Angela said...

Perfect Mission post... I'll send up some prayers for you lady.

Christine said...

crap.

i have fingers crossed that the universe takes heed and LISTEN to you.

xoxo