In October, I wrote about my husband's brother's 10 year war with cancer (beginning with male breast cancer), in this post: http://paintedmaypole.blogspot.com/2007/10/my-pink-ribbon.html (I can't do a pretty link because my friend's computer apparently refuses to make the greater than symbol needed to make the html link).
On Thursday, February 7th by brother in law lost the final battle.
We had been talking for several days with my husband's sister, a nurse, who told us that the end was very near. My husband was able to talk to his brother on the phone. This is not a big surprise to us, as frankly we've been expecting it for well over 5 years, and things took a definate turn for the worse this fall.My husband went out to visit at Thanksgiving. Good-byes were said then, as, frankly, they were every time we saw my brother in law. This long war has taught us to always say "I love you" before we part.
On Thursday we were at Disneyland. My sister in law called and told us it was a matter of days. My husband decided to try to get a flight to Michigan, in hopes of making it before the end. He did not.
We girls stayed on and greatly enjoyed our Disney adventure, and I have many tales to tell another day. Tomorrow The May Queen and I have changed our flight - instead of heading home we will be flying to Michigan. We haven't a thing to wear.
Last night before I fell asleep I breathed my brother in law's name up to God, and paused, not quite knowing what to pray. Then a huge smile came to my face, and I laughed. He's with You, I thought, no need to worry.
I did pray for my parents in law, who had to watch their eldest son die, and will be burying him next week. This is not the right order, it is not how things are "supposed to go." But things do not always go as we had planned. I prayed for my husband, who hurts more for his parents than himself. For my 2 sisters in law, one who has lost a husband, the other a brother. For The May Queen, who has lost her uncle.
But my brother in law? Things are much, much better for him now. This much I know to be true. And I am ever so grateful for that.
Friday, February 8, 2008
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45 comments:
condolences on your loss, and amen for his rest.
The Sergeant and I are thinking of you all, and praying too. If we were closer we'd give you lots of hugs...will a cyber-hug help?
The two sides of the coin? Always there aren't they - peace for one is loss for the others. I hope you all can value his peace more than your grief and with that peace to you, too.
PM, when someone who has struggled so with life passes away...it's harder for me to figure out what to say because, like you said, there are two sides to it. I am so, so very sorry for you and your family's loss. I'm sorry parents lost their child, a wife lost her husband, siblings lost their brother, friends lost a friend and so on. I imagine he touched many lives, and he's gone now, which is a loss. There is consolation that he is better and with God, but I know that doesn't mitigate the loss for those left behind. P&PTs to you all.
Oh,PM- thinking of you all.....
Amen, sister!
Sweetie, I'm so sorry. Many hugs to your whole famiy...
Though I'm happy that he's left the pain and suffering behind, I am sorry for the people he's had to leave behind.
My condolences, PM, to your entire family.
You have a remarkable perspective on it.
Condolences to your whole family.
My heart goes out to you all. Hugs.
Thinking of you all.
Thinking of you guys... many sincere condolences.
I am so sorry.
"and I laughed. He's with You, I thought, no need to worry."
Amen. My prayers are with the family.
I am so sorry PM. Sending strength and prayers your way.
i am sorry for your loss and in admiration of your grace. be well, sister.
My sincerest condolences to your family. Our prayers are with you today.
I'm so sorry to hear of this loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss. And your in-laws - no parent should have to watch their child pass away.
I'm so sorry for your family's loss... even when we know it's better for those who were in so much pain, it can be so hard for those left behind.
Hugs.
Condolences. May he have peace from whatever pain he was in.
I'm sorry for your loss too...
It's so hard when it's backwards like this. I can not imagine losing my child...
I hope things go as good as can be expected while you're saying your formal good byes...
Oh, this is so sad - but I know that he is beyond pain and suffering now and is joyously at peace.
I'm so sorry for your family and the empty space left behind. I hope everyone will be able to find the peace you've already experienced. Good thoughts, heading out.
oh i am so, so sorry that he is gone. but he rests now and is at peace.
my condolences. I remember him from your previous post, and I'm sorry.
My condolences too. To all of your family. And may he rest in peace.
My condolences to your family on your loss.
Emily
I am so sorry... and am praying for you and your family. Safe travels, now.
xo CGF
I'm so very sorry, PM.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your entire family.
God bless.
k
What a tragic losss. May God give comfort to your family as you walk through this.
I'm terribly sorry for your loss after he fought such a long, hard battle.
My thoughts are with all of you.
Hugs - Heidi
I am so very sorry for your loss.
I will be holding you and yours in my heart tonight.
Hugs to you and your family, friend.
My condolences to you, too. I'll be thinking of you and your husband's family.
Like jen, I can't help but admire your grace.
PM - we'll echo your prayers in our home tonight. Be safe, take care.
My condolences to you and your family.
Thinking of you and your family. And awed by your faith.
I'm sorry for your and your family's loss.
This was beautiful, MP.
Peace and blessings to your family, now.
Thinking of you.
I'm late here to read this and send my condolences. It is so hard, these losses. But at the same time it is good to know that the suffering of your brother-in-law has eased even as you miss him. Thinking of you and your family.
A beautiful post. I'm so sorry for your loss!
I'm so very sorry to read this, this evening. My sympathies to your family. All the best to you all.
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