Thursday, June 14, 2007

The Mommy Show, on the road

same cast, new stage, less props

Yesterday the May Queen and I boarded a plane and flew up to the midwest to visit family. My husband had to stay home and work, and start physical therapy for his knee. We're currently staying at my in-laws, and then on Father's Day we'll switch and stay with my parents.

Vacations are always interesting, because as a mom, I rarely feel like I'm truly getting a vacation. True, there are less responsibilities (no bathroom cleaning, for instance) and less phone calls, etc. But the main task of every day for me is taking care of the May Queen, and when we are not at home it's the same job, but without the aid of a room full of toys, playmates next door, and our regular activities. So when we are on "vacation" it is "Mommy play with me!" time. I wonder if parents of siblings feel differently about vacations, if the kids entertain themselves and enjoy the change in scenery as stimulus for new kinds of play. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy playing with The May Queen. But sometimes I'd like to also attack the stack of books I always pack with the great hope that maybe this time will be different.

And, to top it off, I have just come down with a miserable cold. This should come as no surprise, I suppose, as I have been running on empty for several weeks, and what else can I truly expect from my immune system?

I suppose, though, that I am focusing on just the negatives here. We live so far away from all our relatives, and it is so important that they have this time together to bond. And bond they do. My parents, for instance are great about getting down on the floor to play, and taking The May Queen on adventure hikes, etc. And as I write this my inlaws have taken The May Queen (per her insistent begging) to the Y for a dip in the pool. So maybe I will get in some reading after all.

I find that it becomes a matter of mindset. I have to change my ideas of what a vacation is. If all I want is my own quiet time and time to read, I probably won't get it, and will come away feeling frustrated. If I think of it as time to really focus on all the relationships in my life without the distractions of home, I can find this time to be relaxing and refreshing.

I'm not sure what the next 2 weeks will be like for my blogging - only time will tell. But I imagine it will give me lots of things to write about, if I can find the time!


Beck said...

Vacations are nightmarish - now I have to supervise the kids in NEW, NON-CHILDPROOF ENVIROMENTS!
But I hope YOU have fun! :)

nomotherearth said...

I hope I don't sound like a Bad Mother when I say that vacations with kids aren't really my idea of a vacation. They're more like Big Fun Outings. I still enjoy them, but there is no relaxation to be had. We are about to go on a weekend sans kid, and that sounds heavenly to me right now. All I want to do is sleep.

niobe said...

With any luck, eventually,* you'll be able to send MQ off on the exciting adventure of visiting grandparents all by herself. Then you'll have a real vacation. Even if you don't go anywhere at all.

*though, if grandparents are a plane ride away, "eventually" may be later, rather than sooner.

slouching mom said...

You've perfectly captured how vacations are with kids -- it's not your vacation, but it is a vacation for the kid(s).

Your vacation would be one where you were off-mom-duty, no?

Joy, of course! said...

You know, I think what you said about changing your expectations is really what it's all about. I just booked a trip to the beach for my hubs and I and our 4 kids and I am crazy excited about just having that family time together.

I have to admit though, that I have taken my brood on planes to see relatives by myself before and those trips are always very stressful for me. I think it's staying with other people and worrying how they will behave.

Welcome to the blogging by the way. I linked here through Slouching Mom.

thirtysomething said...

I know the feeling girl! If you are taking the little one on a trip, it is her trip, not yours. And anytime you take your child(ren) out of your comfort zone all on your own, it is highly stressful, pretty much no matter how optimistic you are. So, enjoy what few moments you might be able to steal while your family plays with MQ, and know that the time will come when she will be going off on her own little vacations and all you will really want to do is hop in her bag and watch over her...
thanks for dropping by my post, by the way! I look forward to your comments...we will figure out this bolgging thing, I know it!

ewe are here said...

I hear you on the vacations: we still have to do all that child wrangling. We're hoping, though, that once Baby Boo isn't a baby anymore, our two boys will start entertaining themselves a bit more...