nervous

A few months ago a store was having a sale - buy one get one free. Hair dye. They only had one box of my usual color, so I timidly picked up a box of Auburn Brown. I looked at. I thought about how when I wore this wig, everyone said I looked great as a red head. I thought it might be kind of fun this summer, when I wasn't in a show and didn't have to answer to a director, to dye my hair a different color. I shook my head. Put both boxes back. Thought I'd check back later in the week to see if they had two of MY color.

Then I picked it up again. Why not? I bought it.

Well, here I am. I'm not in a show. It will be at least 2 1/2 weeks before I can audition for anything. And that box of dye was the only one under the sink.

I pulled it out. I looked at it. I compared it to my regular color.

No.

I put it down.

I'll go buy my regular color tomorrow.

Then I picked it up again. Why not?

I tore open the box and quickly began before I could rethink it.

While working it through my hair I began to get terrified by the blood colored solution. I reminded myself of a time nearly 8 years ago when I dyed my hair auburn. Again, I was in a rare "between shows" time... this time a forced break so I could go visit my bestest friend in NYC. Wouldn't it be fun to be a redhead in NYC? I dyed it. No one noticed the change. Not even me.

Maybe this time will be like that?

After letting my hair soak the appointed time I hopped in the shower. MAROON colored water flowed from my head.

I freaked out a little.

I WASHED my hair.

I don't think it came out.

It's air drying now. I'm a little afraid. I'm a lot afraid.

I'm hoping it will be like last time, and no one will notice. I dyed my hair a different color thinking it would be fun and now I'm hoping no one will notice. Crazy.

It's just hair, right? In four weeks I can dye it back.