I have, for much of my life, felt like I have lived multiple lives. Not multiple PAST lives, but I've felt that there are parts of my life that are quite separate from the rest. I think we all do this to some extent. We have the work life and the parental life and the church life and whatnot. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. And I don't think that I behave without integrity: the person I am in the theatre is NOT a person with different morals and ways of operating than the person I am at church. However, I do feel that where I am and who I am with effects greatly what areas of my personality are at the forefront. At church, particularly as the pastor's wife, I'm less political. I speak up, surely, but I am ever aware that most people have a different political take on things. On this blog I'm "Painted Maypole" and, as in real life, I choose which parts of me I'll put out there. But I've kept it anonymous so that I can speak a bit more freely. And I figure that if you don't like what I have to say, you'll read a different blog.
Now that I've joined Facebook I'm coming up against this. I first got on it when a dear friend from high school was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I knew I would enjoy getting in touch with old high school and college friends. And I have. I also had wanted to do it because I felt it would get me more plugged into the theatre community here. And it has.
But now I have friends from my mom's group. And friends from church. And friends that are really people my hubby knows way better than I do, but he doesn't have his own account. And now my insurance agent wants to friend me. MY INSURANCE AGENT. Granted, we're rather friendly with him, and have a church connection. But still. (I haven't accept it yet. The invite just sits there. Nagging at me).
Facebook is quickly becoming a dilemma for me. Because it feels like it is no longer a space for me. Before I post ANYTHING or join any group or post any pictures I have to think about all the hundreds of "friends" who will see it.
And in some ways, that's wise. Because what do I really want to be putting out there on the internet for all the world to see?
But in some ways, well... I dunno. It's making me come face to face with the different lives I live. And how they really are quite separate. And I don't know how to make them come together.
I'm sorry I haven't been around to your places very much. We've had daytime performance for schools and I've started rehearsals for a new show and I spent several nights down in the city this week to cut down on commuting.
Monday's Mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write a post in the style of a greeting card.