opening night nerves

Today was opening night. This current show is much different than anything I've done before. The other actor and I basically sit at desks and read the letters, and the show spans from when they were elementary school up through adulthood. I've had to approach this show very differently than any other piece I've worked on. Usually I focus all my attention on the other actors and what my character wants from them. But in this piece I don't look at my co-star until the very end of the show. Instead I look out towards audience, the front row of which is so close I could spit on, if I were so inclined. But I don't look AT the audience, which would actually be easier. Instead I look up and around and listen to the letters. It's hard not to look at the audience when you're that close. And it's really hard to not think about how they are reacting and focus instead on the listening.

That said, I think it went fairly well. I think. I feel like all my usual barometers are out the window. It's uncharted territory.

It's scary.

As my fellow actor said about our jitters before we went onstage - "It's both the best and the worst feeling in the whole world."