Wednesday, December 5, 2007

In which I complain about my stress and brag about my husband

I must begin by saying that I don't know how working mothers do it. My hat is off to all of you. Seriously.

This past week I have been gone pretty much all day between my very brief part time job at the preschool and rehearsals and performances for A Christmas Carol. The time I have had at home has been short and limited, and, I confess, stressful.

When I agreed to take on this role just last week I vowed to myself that I wouldn't let things slide as much as I did when I was doing the opera. I vowed that I would be better at keeping up with my commitments both in and out of our home. And so this past week I have not only learned a new role, acclimated to a new cast and crew and OPENED said show... I have also decorated inside and out for Christmas (including shopping for and putting up a real tree), done a considerable amount of shopping and mailing of packages to friends and relatives who live far away, worked on the Christmas pageant I am directing for our Sunday School, written our yearly Christmas letter (yes, I send one of those out. and no, I will not share it with you. And yes, it is a bit braggy about all our world travels this year. sue me), worked on a short drama we'll be performing in worship in a few weeks, practiced with my praise team, spoken to friends and family on the phone, organized getting the materials for my small group bible study, fed my family, done many loads of laundry, etc, etc. I find myself short on patience and energy, and feeling guilty for not enjoying every moment. And then I realize that it is only December 5th and in many ways I am ahead of the holiday game, in comparison to where I usually am at this point in the month. And yet the stress....

I am being too hard on myself, I know. It's OK to let a few things relax. Really... did the tree have to be decorated TODAY? But I had planned to do it during this time, and gosh darn it, I got it done.

My husband, I have to say, has been wonderful. He's been giving up his quiet time in the morning to take The May Queen to school since I have to head to the theatre for our performances for school groups. He is putting her to bed nearly every night, but not before they drive around and look at all the lights (and "conflatable" Santas, et al). He has not complained at all about the frozen pizzas and lack of milk in the refrigerator. I came home today to find the laundry machines running. When I talked to him about doing this show last week he said "You want to do it. We will find a way." When I told him that tomorrow I would be going into the city to do a show in the morning and then driving the hour home to pick up The May Queen from school, and then driving back for a show in the evening he said "I can leave work and get her if you can find something to do down in the city" (um... yes! Hello working on my Christmas cards at the library... and... dare I think it... a movie?!)

That is the way he has always been about my acting. Always. Well... there was that time when I was leaving home at 6am to do children's theatre and then going straight to rehearsals for another show and coming home at 11pm and I would crawl into bed next to him exhausted... one night he DID roll over and eye me suspiciously and say "Who are you and what are you doing in my bed? My wife wouldn't like this. Of course, she's never home, so she won't find out..."

But he really truly has been always supportive of it. And this past week as I've watched him step up to the plate to help out with newly appreciative eyes, it makes me want to make sure I keep up with everything even more. Because he truly is a gem. Even if he does begin snoring 5 minutes into the time we've set aside to watch our taped (final!) episode of Heroes together.

So enough with the complaining, and on to being thankful. The time I do have at home with my family I will cherish. And if the floor doesn't get washed... well... that's OK. The twinkling lights from the Christmas tree make a great distraction from the pile of junk mail on the kitchen counter.

39 comments:

nomotherearth said...

What a great guy! You are lucky indeed.

the dragonfly said...

I got tired just reading this!

I can totally hear the Big Guy saying "who are you and what are you doing in my bed..." Cracks me up!! He really is a pretty good guy. Most of the time. Except on Fridays when he steals my husband away. hee hee

blooming desertpea said...

"Who are you and what are you doing in my bed? My wife wouldn't like this. Of course, she's never home, so she won't find out..."

Totally cool!

Family Adventure said...

Hang in there! Like you said, you are already ahead of the game.

And you sure have a wonderful hubster :)

Heidi

thirtysomething said...

You are one lucky chic!

Rose Daughter said...

what a wonderful husband you have.

Sober Briquette said...

Maypole, you make complaining sound like an early Christmas present.

bless you.

Heidi Hyde said...

You are a lucky brat...and I don't want to hear one more word on the subject. Good day.

I said Good Day!

;)

-HH

Amy said...

Your husband = Saint Maypole.

Lucky!

Chrissy said...

Sounds like you got a good catch. I'm the same way about getting stuff done that doesn't HAVE to be done on that day. Then I'm all worn out and tired and think, why did I do that?

Hope the play goes well the rest of the run. Hang in there.

Chaotic Joy said...

Oh Maypole, you're just the best. This hardly seems like complaining at all, more like gratitude. Your husband is a rare find but the fact that you know that probably means you aren't too bad a catch yourself. :)

You know how I feel about Christmas and the stress it puts on us all. I fight all month long not to let the words "Bah. Humbug" actually come out of my mouth. But this:

"The twinkling lights from the Christmas tree make a great distraction from the pile of junk mail on the kitchen counter.

This is a great attitude!

another good thing said...

Definitely a stressful time of the year, because we ask so much of ourselves...
I am so in sgreement with the working out of the house mom comment. Hat's off, ladies.
Seems to me, the earlier I start on the decor and cards and the baking and the parties and the gifts, the more I feel I can and must do... those protagonists might have something there, you think?

Emily said...

"Who are you and what are you doing in my bed? My wife wouldn't like this. Of course, she's never home, so she won't find out..."

That line slays me! I feel like that with my husband.

Kyla said...

You are doing GREAT! And yes, I totally second your proposal for slowing down a little. You deserve a little down time, too. Enjoy that movie. :)

Kyla said...

Oh, and your husband is an angel! I have one who is very similar and I can't imagine life any other way.

Julie Pippert said...

It's a crazy busy high-expectation kind of year. I can't imagine we don't all have ARGH moment, but getting both feet back on the ground is great.

Your husband sounds wonderful and that bedroom comment was hilarious. :)

Julie
Using My Words

Suz said...

I stopped for a moment at the second sentence. Thanks. And Thanks. I really needed to hear it today for all of the reasons you mention.

Kathryn said...

Every year immediately following Christmas my mom would get sick. Her body would finally relax after a month of running around crazy, and she'd get sick. Strange how the holidays which are meant to be reminders of blessings, love, and cheer always are so stressful.
Thank heavens for your hubby. I hope you get some down time, relax, and enjoy the rest of the season.

Amy Y said...

He sounds like a keeper to me!! :)

Hope things calm down soon... but I know they probably won't.

Yes, it's tough to be a working mama! I'm lucky to be a part time girl ~ I don't know how the full~timers do it!!!

Aliki2006 said...

My theory is that complaining is not only cathartic, but it enable us to truly appreciate the things/people around us...

What a great guy you're married, to also!

flutter said...

he's a doll.

Victoria said...

Gotta love a good hubby. I got me one too.

Complain away. I plan on doing it later this week too. =)

SusieJ said...

What a nice gift to him -- bragging away. He is sweet.

Rima said...

And you still have time to blog?

You are superwoman, woman!

soccer mom in denial said...

Yeah for supporting you! But seriously, do guys talk about us in as appreciative terms or are we just expected to do all we do?

I'm so glad you are getting the support and love you deserve to make your art.

And I miss holiday letters so good for you!

WorksForMom said...

He's a keeper! And I categorically agree with your first paragraph.

crazymumma said...

Well. since you are such an organized xmas elf I think you need to come on up here and help me.

Cause I am getting alot of nada done round here.

Mrs. G. said...

You do have much to be thankful for, but so does your family. What an amazing mom. Cool commercial down below!

Badness Jones said...

Sounds like a prince PM! But you deserve one.

niobe said...

I'm going to echo what you said. My hat is off to you. I have no idea how you do it. (though, obviously, having such a wonderful husband must help)

we_be_toys said...

Man, my head is spinnig from your list of things you got done! No wonder you're tired and stressed!
A good husband is a wonderful thing - but I guess I don't have to tell you that!
Thanks for stopping by yesterday and leaving a comment - I get them so rarely - it made my day!

Jen M. said...

You are both amazing people!

Don Mills Diva said...

OMG - you ARE a working mother! No wonder you are so stressed and tired. Glad your hubby's such a doll.

Jenn said...

Who the heck is looking at the floor anyway when they have such an amazing woman to gaze at?

Barrie said...

My hat's off to YOU!

Maddy said...

You certainly are piling it on. So glad that hubby is there too helping and supportive.
best wishes


This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"until blogger comments get themselves sorted out.

Tot's Mom said...

A very supportive hubby you have there. And yeah, I agree with you - why worry too much about the floor and a little mess? ;)

Catherine said...

Hooray for helpful husbands! And...I don't now how YOU do it either!
catherine

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

Good hubbies rock.