Sunday, October 5, 2008

Plan a Party Workout

It happens to the best of mothers once a year for each child they have, the time when all that baby birthing forces them to come to grips with the workout they must face: Planning a Birthday Party. We all get a little flabby when we're out of practice, so follow this workout planning guide to see you through this year's workout.

Choose a theme
Muscle(s) worked out: creativity

Search the internet for ideas
Muscle(s) worked out: research

Purchase supplies

Muscle(s) worked out: Budgeting, spoiling, shopping

Make invitations

Muscle(s) worked out: creativity, friendship building, research, design

Wait for (not particularly forthcoming) RSVPs
Muscle(s) worked out: Patience

Prepare home for party
Muscle(s) worked out: cleaning, decorating, creativity

Stress out about whether anyone will come, if you have enough activities planned, if you need more food, if you have enough time, if your child will have fun or not and what the other parents will think of you
Muscle(s) worked out: overactive imagination, guilt, fear, worry

Go over the basic party etiquette rules with child
Muscle(s) worked out: patience, repetition

Greet arriving children
Muscle(s) worked out: all the smiling muscles

Run activities and games
Muscle(s) worked out: patience, quick-thinking, enthusiasm, gentleness, encouragement, restraint

Oversee present opening with all children demanding that their gift be opened next
Muscle(s) worked out: patience, transcription, whispering ("say thank you")

Visit with other parents while children tear apart yard and home
Muscle(s) worked out: patience, friendliness, selective hearing

Pass out goody bags and say good-bye
Muscle(s) worked out: restraint (it's really bad form to yell out "yippee and good riddance!")

Help child extricate toys from boxes
Muscle(s) worked out: Patience, patience, restraint, patience

Drink a cold, alcoholic beverage
Muscle(s) worked out: relaxation, relief, gratitude

This workout may seem like a particularly grueling one, but the end benefit,a happy child who feels loved, is well worth the effort. And just think, you won't have to do it for another year.

This post has been a Monday Mission. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write a post in the style of an exercise routine. If you do, put a link in the widget below.

Join us next week when your Mission will be to write a post in the style of an excuse letter.


Mad said...

"selective hearing" HA!

Good one, PM. I now know what to look forward to in January.

Anonymous said...

The whole "present opening" has become a dilemma - no one seems to do it any more, but isn't that, like, the point?

I guess when they're shelling out hundreds at a "prime location" they don't want to waste precious minutes on the gifts.

After one full year on the circuit, I'm burnt out. Thank goodness your workout will help me get back in shape!

painted maypole said...

I always debate whether or not to open the presents, but always decide to do it, because it is always clear to me that the givers want to see their present opened. MQ is always disappointed when she attends a party and they don't open the gifts. Plus, I think it teaches the kids a good lesson on gratitude, politeness, etc.

Kyla said...

"Drink a cold, alcoholic beverage" This one is a MUST!

Mary G said...

Thanks for putting my link up! Didn't get on to the computer early enough this morning.
Oh, my, do I remember when!
Funny post -- love it.

thailandchani said...

I admit to being horribly out of touch with trends. No shock there... but what's with the "theme" for a birthday party? When I was a kid, a few kids would get together, eat a bunch of junk food and play in the back yard.

The theme stuff just doesn't make any sense.

As far as opening gifts, I like the custom of opening gifts privately.


Kathryn said...

Hehe! That was really clever. Well done!

painted maypole said...

Chani - not everyone does a theme for a party, but I just love a good theme party!

womaninawindow said...

eee. Not a fan of birthday parties. So not a fan.

This post rocked though.

Furrow said...

Great post, and perfect timing. We're beginning to plan Z's first birthday. I'm hoping to use very few muscles for this one.

Mary G said...

This is getting to be a good thread. I like themes because they help to keep the event in order and the kids' expectations reasonable. What I do dislike is the competitive element that leads mothers to try to top the other parties she has heard about. (Muscles worked, common sense.)

Chrissy said...

I'm a theme party fan myself. This workout of yours, however, seems grueling.

Gracie's birthday is going to be a campout sleepover, and I'm almost disappointed because we've done this one before, and she wants the exact same party. What is wrong with me, I should be glad.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Wow, how are you pulling these things off? I feel like someone stepped in and switched my creative button off.
Fun post!

Jennifer said...

It is quite the work out, isn't it. My aching patience muscles. And the smiling gently ones too...ouch! Sometimes I wonder if it would help to use the drinking muscles first?? ;)

Cute, cute post!

Louise said...

Hilarious! You are SO good at this.

My favrorite ones are near the end about "selective hearing" (thank goodness I'm not the only one!), and the whole thing about goody bags and good-bye